Blog 119: Stop Saying I Need a Man…
I have had quite a few people in recent weeks tell me what I need…They say I need a Man to take care of me…and I’m like…”Yo bro…I got my shit handled.”
I understand they are just trying to tell me what they think is best.
One had the audacity to tell me if I wasn’t so tall…or sassy…or if I didn’t come off so intelligent I might get a man…
When I replied, “No…I just haven’t found someone that treats me as good as I treat myself.”
He responded, “No, maybe it is how you come off.”
I tried to remind him that I was a princess and I think he said no again…but to be honest, I don’t really remember because when I get stuck in conversations or situations that don’t mentally stimulate me I go to my happy place…and my “Happy Place” has rainbows and sparkles with bubbles and dancing bears and spinning action-ness…and is totally distracting from whatever conversation I am trying not to be in…if you ever see me in public and I got this weird look in my eye and my mouth is slightly open…that is “Deep Happy Place” time…shit is getting digital!
Anyhoo…to sum it up…I am pretty sure he said my 10 year plan should be to get a man to take care of me so I could have a family.
We had some “Deep Happy Place” moments that day.
Then, just the other day my friend takes me out to dinner and he goes…
“Homie, we need to get you Balling!”
and of course I am like, “Totally!”
Then he was like…”We need to find you a man that can take of you.”
As my jaw started to drop and visions of sugar plums started dancing in my head, I think I said, “No Bro…how bout I just do it my fucking self.”
I believe he laughed at me and said something else…but at that point the colors were to intense for me to really pay attention.
Now I know that both these men where coming from a place of love and wanting what is best for me…I know that their intentions are truly good…they are just way of base.
But it seems like everyone is on this “Sunny needs a man kick”…cause even my Moms said it the other day.
I was like…”Mom, stop…that is bullshit. I have so much stuff I have to do for me, I don’t have time to deal with a man right now..besides you and dad’s relationship has pretty much fucked any chance I have of finding a dude that makes me happy.”
(I have written about how awesome my parents relationship is, how my dad cuts the tree in front of the house in the shape of a heart so when my mom comes home she knows how much he loves her…I was telling a boy..aka “Tales of the Crypt” about how my dad pumps my mom gas for her to “make sure her tank is always full.”…he laughed and said he hoped I didn’t expect him to treat me like that. I shook my head…I thought that was the point of having kids…for them to have better than what you had…so yeah, mom and dad…you have fucked me…but not really, for unlike many…I get to be a witness to a true partnership that has span many years and only grows over time.)
I had a man once, I was married…and because I was young I thought I needed to be married to be happy…I thought that is what made my parents work…not the qualities that one possesses as I have now learned. That was ten years of my life I spent doing someone else’s dream…I refuse to waste another moment…
And yes I get lonely and sad. But I also wake up Happy and acknowledge almost everyday how great and blessed my life is. I least on my own I have found some fucking balance.
I don’t need a man to take care of me…I have actually done a pretty damm good job of doing that on my own…and there has been glitter and nice dinners the entire time. Yes I could have more…but patience Sunny, patience.
And If I actually ever feel like being with a man again…it will NOT be because I need him to take care of me…it will be cause I WANT him in my life…that he will bring out more of the light within me…not have me become this thing he tends to.
I want a man that wants more for me…for my of dreams to be accomplished...and the ability to achieve his own in the process...but I don't need this…for I am too busy accomplishing the dreams that I can on my own and with my family.
So please…stop fucking telling me I need a man…serious glitter bombing will follow.
If you really want to be my friend or give me good advise…tell me to do more of what makes me happy, encourage me to find my path, my voice and my meaning.
For that…is what will truly make me a Happy and full of Sunshine.
DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK
MAKING THE COCKTAIL…
Cause sometimes you get thirsty!
Okay so this works great for when you are at a show and your friend is next to you with a full drink…preferably vodka…grab and extra cup and walk up to them…ask to borrow their cup and once in hand show them your other cup…give them both a little wave in the air. Squeeze the lime they have on the edge of their cup into their drink then put your empty cup on top…do a pretend shaker move…I say pretend to avoid spilling…if you feel like you got good suction then by all mean shake away. Always feel free to shake your booty while you shake your drink. Once you feel like you have gotten the effect across….evenly distribute the cocktail into the two glasses…and give them a cheers and say, “now that is how you make a great cocktail.” I usually smile very big as well and hope it works. (Buying the next round for your friend encourages this dance move to happen more frequently…and beer is never recommend.)