Friday, May 29, 2015

Blog 121: Life is Fucking Weird


Blog 121: Life is Fucking Weird…


Ya…so I have been super quiet for some time…it probably is cause shit is cra-cra!


So this life thing, is fucking weird…I mean seriously, it makes no fucking sense.

I need sunglasses and an aspirin for this craziness… (weed and kaleidoscope glasses would also totally work..in fact they would be better!)

I have tried to figure out what direction it is going in, but right when I think I know, things get hooky and I spin in another route.

I try reading the map but can’t figure out which way is up, north or west!

Sometimes the nervous thoughts in my head over power my gut…sometimes my instinct is stronger than doubt….often i don’t know which is which and it confuses the fuck out of me.

From time to time the befuddlement freezes me…and I become isolated for a moment from reality…trying to stoop in the meaning of it all but then I realize I shouldn’t even try to figure out this shit…I should just roll with it…

Often, I simply toss glitter in the air and march, having faith in my sense of the true path and my destiny….sometimes I get the wind wrong and glitter bomb myself!

A lot of times, shit goes down that makes me have the Joey Lawrence “Whoaaaaa” look on my face….sometimes I am so shocked I just have to walk away…daily I wish I had a video camera on me so I could actually document the craziness that I see and experience. (my weirdness levels might be extremely high due to living in the Tenderloin and working on Haight Street…I love it and it is my life, but I yearn for more moments of quiet, serenity and peace.)

Most likely, after the “whoaaaaaaaa” face I get a “huhhhhhhhh” face on.

Occasionally, I hear something that makes me take a knee…

More often than not I have about a 50% reality of what is going on…we could push 60%.

Once in a while a supernatural force shows me the light in the strangest of places if I look at it right.

A wise man once told me, “When the going gets Weird, the Weird get Digital.”

Maybe I should listen to my friend…when shit gets to cra-cra, maybe I should add more glitter, a little more rainbows and start jump-spinning…cause what ever I might be freaking out about would probably be forgotten after the first 3 revolving spins!

And I would look like an orbiting prism…epic!

Cause it is all Weird, it is all Fucked Up…I just got to tuck and roll and protect my neck…or not eat pizza before one goes into a pogo stick/spaz dance move….and embrace the craziness that is life.

It is about dealing with it all with grace and sparkles, dodging the bad or letting it roll of my back and following the good so I know which way to walk…and no matter what…I just need to keep walking….cause there is always an awesome path for me to take (It is actually me that helps make the path so awesome.)

And damm it…If I am lost and confused, I will at least look like a hot sparkle mess!

So…life…it doesn’t make any sense, there is not rhyme or reason…shit is weird….

So I need to go with it….and smell good the entire time!



DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK

JAMES BOND ACTION-NESS

So this dance move is always better with a great action theme song in your head…I would try to type out the tune that I hum, but I am tone-def as a mother fucker…anyhoo

Start with making a finger gun…make sure that it is fierce…now start your quiet high steps…after about 4 steps…freeze for 5 seconds…than jump alert with your gun aimed at a random someone…they may freak out…details…not the person you were looking for…no worries…get crouched down again, fierce gun stance in place and start to high step again until you stiff out the person that you are looking for and GUN STANCE…what, they are so shocked that you can just grab the joint at of their hand…

Dance move handled!