Friday, November 30, 2012

Blog 99: Why I am a Princess

Blog 99: Why I am a Princess.

So I am almost to a hundred of these diary thingies and I was thinking, all these blogs have passed and besides the first blog, I never really told you all why I consider myself a princess…and before I cross my centennial, I might as well give an explanation.

I am a princess because I said so…so yes, a self-appointed one would be a good term.

No I don’t have a crown (I do have a shit ton of glitter though…over 15 colors!)…and I don’t live in a castle (I do live by myself in a rent controlled studio for under a grand…so in an expensive ass city like San Francisco…it is a close second…now if I lived in “The Castle Apartments” we could totally talk)…and I don’t have crazy jewels (I do have a butt load of feather earrings and a copious amount of tie-dye yoga pants)…but the fact is, it is not what I have that makes me a princess, it is because of who I am.

Truthfully, I think we are all royalty, some people just fail to recognize it within themselves….so please take a short moment…gaze down upon yourself…and see the awesomeness that is you.

I always knew I was a Princess, but thought I needed other people to see it before I allowed myself to believe.

I have discovered that is not how this action works…one has to see the power within…and let it shine, before others can open their eyes.

When I moved back home to San Francisco, I didn’t have close friends to lean on, I was all alone…I had lost everything and was starting all over in the basement of my parents house…I didn’t feel good about myself at all.

And then I made a sacrifice, I put off doing something I longed to do in order to move out (something I still have not done)…even though everyone told me I would not be able to “handle” the Tenderloin I moved here a month before my 30th birthday… over two and a half years ago

At this point I remember longing for something/one to believe in…to give me strength to cope, to tell me all this would be okay…and that my decisions about leaving my husband and my old life were just.

Sometimes when the darkness and gloom has taken over the only light one can find is within themselves.

I found my lumination, my sunshine, it was in the mirror…blinking a pair of emerald doe eyes back at me.

And as I examined her with distain and grace, I could not deny the power that emulated from within, no matter how much I didn’t believe…or did not want to see…it was staring back at me…blinding me.

As my thoughts continued to parade in my head my father’s motto of, “Surrender” flashed before me…

And so I did…I succumbed to my flaws, my achievements, my sorrows, my silliness, my defeats…all of it…all of me.

Now this is a lesson and a thought that I have to constantly remember for it is a hard path to pillage but oh so worthy of its walk, accompanied by breathtaking views.

Empowering the potential that I have within me…inspired inner decency…

As well as a willingness to cast aside wrongful interpretations and judgments of others and accept them as they stand before me.

Humans…full of humility.

The better understanding and leeway you give yourself…the more allowing of other people one becomes and the better one becomes at seeing life as beautiful lessons that lead towards enlightenment…we all fuck up…in order for us to all learn…it is journey…and there is a road, but by no means a simple highway.

We can’t be mad at ourselves for being ding dongs or chicken fuckers…we have to love who we are and rock that shit out!

Believe in our Royalty.

Treat yourself like you are a King or a Queen.

For one cannot put faith in others unless they utilize and practice that same notion for themselves.

So yes, I am a Princess…and whatever else I want to be…because I control my destiny, and the power to be what I want to be…lies inside of me….

And we shant forget…there is always room for more kingdoms in the Promise Land.

At last, be aware that seeing your inner greatness helps others see their own…we should encourage everyone to shine.



Have you ever put on an outfit or a dress that made you feel like a hundred bucks (it could be a tie-dyed oneZZZ, it could be a Princess Dress, it could be a pair of jeans that makes your ass look…DELICIOUS!...whatever it is, you know what I am talking about.) Sometimes when you go out, you got to show yourself off a little. So start at one end of the bar, toss your head back and make sure your shoulders are nice and back and your chest is out a little, and STRUT…make sure you are swaying your hips a little from side to side and maybe have one hand on your butt shelf (yeah, I said butt shelf…what)…when you get to the other end of the bar, do a slow turn and finishing standing facing the bartender…order your drink…sip it…hold it for a picture taking moment…turn again and STRUT back….when you get back to your friends and find that they still haven’t gotten their drinks yet…you will understand what the dance is all about!

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