Blog 115: PAIN
I have been in pain recently…it morphs and bends in all shapes
Whether it be the death of a dear pet, being caught in the cross-fires of an ego war, the torments of a dear friend breaking the moral code or the affliction in my lower back from an old Badminton injury diving for Shuttle-Cocks that has become somewhat debilitating at certain times…how I long to simply be able to put on my socks again and not have it take five freaking minutes!
Some sort of Pain has been on mind…It almost started to cloak my light.
As I walked to work today…I felt the discomfort in my back slice through my spine and almost stopped me in my tracks…I did not have the time to halt or complain….only saunter forward not able to miss a beat…I took deep breathes and let the irritation run through my body…forcing me to stride longer and more determined…I knew I must simply march.
Some have offered me a pill to take to calm the misery, but for me personally, I just can’t do that…they don’t agree with me…they do not brighten my beams…
I am a walk that shit out kinda girl……stretch that shit out kinda girl…a meditate the pain away kinda girl…I really am my father’s daughter in every sense of the word…he would tell me to go swim in the bay if anyone is wondering…and he does it without a wetsuit. (Now you know where the ding dong in me comes from)
Sitting here now, writing, is painful and I must keep writhing in my chair…but I must write…I need to…I can’t stop doing what I need to do cause it hurts…that just can’t be an option…and I got to do that shit right.
I can’t let my Pain get in the way of my Path.
There are times in life when we are crushed and debilitated….when pain has the ability to over take us…and we have a choice…
Do we act with Valor, Courage and Nobility?
Or do we give ourselves a hall pass on trying…succumbing to the agony and letting it break who we are…what we should be…
I must admit…sometimes the ache cripples me…sometimes it makes me take a knee…sometimes the hurt causes me to wail…sometimes it causes me to tremble.
But I will not let Pain be Victorious...
Whether it is Physical or Mental, Pain can be palatable most of the times if we channel it in the proper way...if we learn to cope...
If we force it to evolve into light.
I am reminded of a time…almost eleven years ago…Pain overtook my wrists and my ankles…causing me to go on disability at school and my medical bills to sky rocket. After months of test there was no definitive diagnosis…fed up with waiting to find out what was wrong…I changed my life….
Six months later I was 80 pounds lighter…and running almost everyday.
And that shit hurt like a mother-fucker!
Giving up Oreos hurt like a mother-fucker!
But it was the first time in my life I really felt like a strong ass bitch
The first time in life I truly understood my capabilities when my determination was at its peak.
Pain of some sort is with us everyday that we live…it is something we all share with each other.
It is in our time of torment and utter darkness that our actions show our true self.
I desire and hope that in my moments of devastating pain…
I rise up above them like the sun after a starless night.
DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK
PUTTING ON THE SUNSCREEN…cause it is getting hot!
Start grooving…spread your arms out wide and give yourself a spin and really soak that sun up…(this dance move does not have to be done outside, you just might have to sell it more)…pull out from your pocket a pretend bottle…give it a feverish shake and open the cap with your teeth…making sure “gusto” is involved. Squirt some into your hand and start to rub it all over…get your face, your arms, behind your ears, your legs….man you put a lot in your hand…you might have to do a “fast hand movement” to randomly fling some off…getting your back is a bitch…you might have to ask someone for help….just smear the leftovers from your hand onto there’s…give them a dirty look back if they think that is weird…oh no…don’t let them put the sunscreen on you there!