Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Blog 81: The Power of Color (The Birth of the Jammin Chronicles)

Blog 81: The Power of Color (The Birth of the Jammin Chronicles)


Sometimes you need to recall certain things that you had forgotten…in recent weeks I have been reminded of the Power of Color…and I so appreciate the lesson.

The past few months have been hard on me, from a death of a friend to matters of the heart…I had been feeling kinda down in the dumps…almost less sparkly (it could be because I ran out of my favorite glitter…that is up for grabs…and stop discontinuing good glitter damm it!)

And as I began to heal, regroup and get my mojo back…there was still a little something missing.

Then I walked into Jammin on Haight, the old Positively Haight Street that my friends just purchased on the corner of Haight and Masonic…

Now let me start by prefacing that I used to hang out in front of this shop when I was a teenager…I first felt the effects of pot when I smoked it in the park two streets down…I bought my first tye-dye from Positively Haight Street at the age of 13…I used to get my pot on this very corner…you would get a “twamp” bag or a “haigth” (haigth = small buds fluffed to line the bottom of a bag…if it went across the baggie, you could call it an eighth even though we all knew it was short.)…my first boyfriend slept outside the store…note to all teenager girls…DO NOT DATE MEN who live on Haight Street…by this of course I mean actually on the street…if they have an apartment that is more than cool…but usually, if they live on the street, they are probably going to mooch of you…just a heads up…totally.

So to walk into this store today, almost 20 years later, and know the owners, makes me really feel like life had come full circle…I’m still like “whoaaaaa” and get that stupid-glazed-princess smile from time to time when I go in there…and I can’t stay away…it is kinda like “color crack”…realizing how wonderful the circle of life is…it is purely rejuvenating.

And then there is the “COLOR” factor…mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

To saunter in and simply be encompassed in color…to be truly stimulated…makes me tingle all over.

To see people’s reaction when they put on the perfect “one”…

I sold a 13 year old boy his first tye-dye the other day…it was a “Hugo”…the store only had a couple “Hugo’s” left…I pointed them out…how you could see the unique style…how this really was a piece of art and he could probably come back in five years and sell it to us for more money than what he is paying for it now…

I saw the look on his face when he came out of the dressing room.

Have you ever seen someone truly “light up”…

Ain’t nothing like it…I can only describe it as…totally awesomeness…

You know I sparkled that little boy which I think he loved just as much ☺…I think his dad was a little jealous though…

The other day I got my first pair of tye-dye yoga pants…and let me tell you…I put them on and I had to do my “Hey-Hey-Hey” dance (to be described later)…I left them on when my “special friend” came over and he was like “Hey-Hey-Hey”…I still have the hand marks to prove it…cause my ass is bumping…and you put some tight, beautiful, one of a kind colorful yoga pants on that bitch…it is like putting foie gras on top of a steak…melt in your mouth awesomeness…

The whole experience has made me love me even more…who thought that was possible!

For the reality of the matter is that I know I stick out in my colorful dresses and my glitter and sometimes I wonder…“Should I tone down the color?”…for even a princess has self-doubt…

But why spend time in a black and white world…

Because Color…makes me Happy, it makes me Smile…

And why would I ever want to tone me down…I should only want to brighten myself…to enlighten…after all…I am Sunny!

I live in the tenderloin for God sake…we need some color up in this bitch…

When you are feeling down…put something on that makes you feel luminous…that puts you in a better mood…

When the fog is gloomy slip into something that inspires you to shine through the dusk…

And when the sun’s rays dance upon your skin, drench yourself in a rainbow so the color bounces off in all directions…let yourself shine…and encourage others to do so as well…

I have embraced my “inner-color”…and I like it…game on.


DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK

“HEY-HEY-HEY”

Have you ever put on a pair of pants, or a dress or something…that has made you look in the mirror, bend your knees and kind made you swing your hips and go “Hey-Hey-Hey”…I have this happen quite often…I will be trying on dresses for the night and I slip into one, and my hips start to roll, I pump my arms a little bit and get some bounce in my knees…look in the mirror and go “Hey-Hey-Hey”…

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Blog 80: Resolutions

Blog 80: Resolutions


I have had the idea about this blog since New Years…I sat at my desk and pondered my goals for the upcoming year and stared at the ones from last. I wondered if I wrote them in my diaries would they become more palatable.

I chose to push off the blog for I was in a funk of a mood around the holidays…stupid matters of the heart…

I must admit with pride…I had accomplished all my resolutions for 2011…except for JAZZFEST, which in my defense had three question marks behind it…so it was to be an effort (this year it had one question mark…and to be honest, I didn’t make the effort…I couldn’t…but the dream was still there.)

Some of the goals, to be honest, I had compromised…I had wanted a turn-table, I got a record player…I figured it evened out…I had wanted to lose 20 pounds…I had lost 15…I blamed the last five on bloating and high-fived myself…I did not finish my book, but I felt my diaries had produced a body of work I could be proud of.

I had gotten the internet (this might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but remember I might be a princess…but I live in the Tenderloin [aka: crack ghetto]…little shit means a lot.)…I left my job where my ass was getting grabbed (AMEN) and got control of my psoriasis…I have since kept the same job (they let me wear glitter!)…and only have one little spot of psoriasis on my leg…it appeared after my last break up…and when it has healed, so will have my heart.

And I became a member of The Boom Boom Room Family, I love you BBR…yeah 2011…I had done pretty well!

Which unfortunately put the pressure on for 2012…and myself, being a true glutton for punishment, made my list twice as long…what a ding dong!

The thing is…my birthday marks the half way point for my yearly resolutions…now I only got six months left…and the urgency is on…

This year it dawned on me that the burden of change is why I always freak out on my birthday (well besides the getting older part)…cause I realize I have been slacking off and need to get my shit done…I can be such a freaking procrastinator.

And on the day I celebrated my life, I awoke way to fucking early and stared at my resolutions…looking them up and down…letting my fingers feel the indentation my pen had made upon the paper…wondering if I could make them so…

I crossed off the goals I had accomplished…I have exercised everyday since the year began (I eat whatever I want) but I do some form of exercise daily, I have gotten my self-confidence back as well as my positive attitude…(sometimes when you are sad…you lose sight of the very things that make you happy…and have to remember how truly awesome you really are)…and I have inspired…at least that is what some people have told me…I feel blessed to have others feel that way about me…

But those goals, those are things I used to do and used to have…I had just strayed from my path…the goals I haven’t accomplished yet…those…those simply stared back at me as I pondered them…taunting me…making me realize how much work still had to be done.

I wanted to smoke less pot this year…funny, I can’t really recall if I am or not…so maybe at the end of the year that can be one of the goals I compromise on…I did not put hash on my bowl this morning…I am however out of hash…hmmmmmmmmm.

I still have a debt to a friend a need to pay back…that shit weighs heavy on me, that being said it is not a large debt by any means, I do the best I can, and I know he is in a good place…but I have my debt jar, and while it is full of ones…it is still full…hopefully in six months time I can cross that off my list.

The whole money crap is such a bitch and a half…

I need to find a career outside the restaurant business…while I have like seven jobs…the one that makes me my money is the restaurant job…a business I wanted no part in, yet did for my husband…I worked on his dreams and neglected my own…trying to realize what my dreams are after all this time has been a journey I still feel lost navigating…yet I must find a dock to rest my sail…a nitch…made just for me, and while things have begun to unfold, I wait with baited breath that is happens before the year ends so another check upon my list can be made.

And in accomplishing this last goal, I feel my resolution of cooking more at home will be easily fixed…cause the truth of the matter is, when you work at a restaurant…you rarely cook at home…so solving problem A…inherently solves problem B.

And the finishing book thing still has to happen…but I have continued my writing, and actually gotten half way through my book, “Diaries of a Rock & Roll Mistress”…it just sounds good, right….

Truthfully, I like the kick in the ass…I need it…If I am not constantly improving myself…I’m not doing my part to make shit better…cause making the world a better place starts with me…being the best me, encourages others to do the best that they can…and while I need to tend to others, it doesn’t matter a dime if I am not taking care of myself…for that is how I maintain my own happiness.

Since my birthday I have gotten up at 6:30am each day and just started working…I have thought positive notions about my future, I have asked favors, absorbed lectures, studied, imagined, and taken chances…new thoughts swirl in my head mixed with sparkles, rainbows and visions of a tomorrow which is my true destiny…and the rush has invigorated me in a direction I have always dreamed of…

And I know that in the end, all this will simply figure itself out…the way it is suppose to…as it always does.

My job is simply to lead myself down the right avenue and enjoy the mystery as it unfolds.


DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK

THE PITCH

Start by starring down the hitter, give him the evil eye, tuck your ball into your glove and bring your knee high, recoil your elbow back (please look out for people behind and in front of you)…bring your leg and arm forward at the same time, letting the ball fly through the air…please maintain your balance during your follow through…for falling down is not a great ending to any dance move…
One thing that is so great about the dance version of this move is that you don’t really have a ball…so you can assume you are throwing a no hitter…unless you are looking for someone to hit a home run…

Friday, June 8, 2012

Blog 79: Life is Like a Rollercoaster

Blog 79: Life is Like a Rollercoaster…


Since moving back to San Francisco over three years ago, I have started a tradition on my birthday…I ride the rollercoasters at Great America…

I used to go there when I was in grade school on school field trips…the rides seemed so much scarier than...

I find it a fitting way to celebrate a new year of life, for in reality…Life is like a rollercoaster.

Last year I recall an incident on the “Drop Zone”…it is this ride that sends you up in the air approximately twenty-two stories high, holds you for a couple seconds and then drops you down in a swift instant. I went on the ride four times so I could get a panoramic view…on my last drop (and yes I did push a slow moving teenager out of the way so I could get a fourth turn in…sometimes those youngens amble so slow and have no sense of urgency…and yes…I might have called him “a slow moving whipper-snapper.”) I was situated with my friend to my right and on my left, two teenage girls that were freaking the fuck out…as we ascended, they started to scream and fidget and it was making it hard for me to concentrate on the killer painting taking place as the dusk touched the sky…one girl turned to me and said, “Aren’t you scared?”

I replied, “Honey, you are spending too much time being scared…on something that you know is going to happen...something you chose to do...chill…look at the view…check out the sun saying good-night, how small everything really is…”

I saw her take a deep breath and look out upon the horizon…for a second…serenity took over her face…and just has she got her bearings, the bottom fell out from underneath us and we plummeted down…as we came to a halt…she turned to me and said, “That was awesome!!!!!”

I replied (as only a loaded, sparkly ass princess can do on her birthday) “Life is like a rollercoaster…you can get all petrified and let fear take over, or you can put your arms in the air, check out the killer views and enjoy the fucking ride…it is one or the other darling.”…and off I went to try to get one more turn on the stand up ride known as “The Vortex”…

(I only mention this ride for one reason…as a woman, I highly recommend the stand up rides to all women…there is something about having that seat in between your legs, and having to put weight down on it…maybe it is cause I wear dresses, but let me tell you, I ride that ride five times in a row if I can…there is this one part where is rocks from one side to another…look out NURSE!!!! I get off the ride saying “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” shaking and trembling and have to hit a wall a couple times and than change panties…all ladies should ride this ride as many times as possible…totally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

And as my birthday fast approaches…I feel the ungulating waves of life bouncing me up and down…and for a second, I let it shake my core…disrupt my happiness and plans of yesterday…in fact the fear of another year in which I might fall short on my potential left me in bed…frozen in a despondent state…and as I tried to shower off my funk of a mood, I thought about my approaching trip to the amusement park, and my conversation with the girl last year…I thought about life in general…its imperfection and tribulations…its soaring highs…the loops it takes us on…the thrills…the screams…

How when we think we have found peace, we fall twenty two stories but still end up with a smile on our face...

How it is simply so much easier to enjoy the ride.

How you can be screaming in fear and in delight at the same time.

Sometimes seeing others so scared makes fear seem so silly...

I recall the first year I went with my boyfriend at the time, and we went on this ride called “The Revolution” it takes that pirate ship action-ness to a whole new level, cause instead of just rocking side to side, this bitch actually goes all the way upside-down and hangs…with your hair becoming parallel to your body and change from ding dong’s pockets plummeting into the water below…this ride has been my nemesis since I was a little girl in grade school, it has always made me shake…I only rode it one time when I was young…but three years ago…I felt the need to overcome my fear…we got on the ride and as I began to tense up and the “ship” began to totally swing all the way around…a girl in front of me began to scream…”My life, my life….my life is flashing before my eyes…I see the light…help me God…please help me”…over and over again…

And you know what…I didn’t have any fear that whole ride…I could not be scared because I was to busy laughing my ass off at the chick freaking the fuck out in front of me…you can’t really be a chuckling coward now can you…

You don’t have time to be petrified when you are laughing…or enjoying the view…

When life is about to take you upside-down on a loop, you can clench up and close your eyes…or you can exhale, put your arms up, and let the fear help you fly…feeling the wind caress your cheeks as you come around…

Life is like a rollercoaster...

Sometimes you are to scared to get on the ride…

Sometimes the fear makes it that much better…more exhilarating…

Sometimes when you are frightened shitless...you just got to laugh through that shit...

Sometimes you just got to make sure you are securely fastened and let the arms wave…and scream just to scream…

Rarely do those stupid pictures they take of you in mid “swoosh” come out good…

And when the ride comes to a halt, you realize how fucking awesome the thrill was…and how you just want to ride the ride…over and over again…cause that shit is awesomeness...

Especially that “Vortex” one…




DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK:

PUMPING IRON (cause you know I am going to be eating some cake this week so I might as well workout and dance at the same time…aka…”a twofer.”)

Whether at the gym or on the dance floor the most important part of “pumping iron” is your form…so line up your feet with your shoulders, bend your knees a little, keep your back straight, your ass tucked and suck in your stomach…now take your weights, and bring your arms up horizontally and your elbows at ninety degree angles…slowly…remember you are suppose to have “weights” in your hands…lift your arms so your hands meet above your head…going up should take you about two seconds, then you want to hold the weights at the top for another two seconds, and slowly (this should take you approximately four seconds) let your arms come down to starting position…inhale…and as you exhale repeat…now if you are pumping iron and you got a joint dangling from your lips…hotter…