Thursday, April 19, 2012

Blog 72: Going Outside the Box (Dating Diaries Part III)

Blog 72: Going outside the Box (Dating Diaries Part III)

***Dating Diaries Parts I & II are Blogs 7 & 24…as well as my Dating Diaries Prolouge is Blog 43***

Last week, I decided to dip my toes back into the dating pool…and…wait for it…the water was shockingly refreshing.

Instead of looking at dating as a burden & a bitch and a half to deal with, I decided to just start to enjoy myself and take everything as a learning experience…and just have fun.

What a difference an outlook makes!!!

And I don’t know if changing my shampoo altered my scent…but I seem to be attracting some NICE boys…and while I usually laminate over all the bad dates I go on in my diaries…this time, I don’t have anything to complain about.

Now, I'm not going to go on second dates with all of the boys from last week, its not that some weren’t nice, they were all soooooo sweet but they weren’t “just right”…and I am a picky bitch…

I enjoyed all the dates…for so many assorted reasons…mostly cause they were all contrary from ones I had been on before…they were new, invigorating and stimulating.

All three dates I went on last week opened doors for me, bought me dinner, had jobs…smelled good…all that action…they were all gentlemen…and they were all boys that before for some reason or another I would never even think to go out with.

Cause when it comes to men…I have pigeonholed myself.

I have had this mental mirage of exactly what I want…what will satisfy my thirst…what is going to make me happy…but I have forgotten one crucial item…I’m not always right.

Chicken Fucker!

After reaching this most valid point, I decided to step outside my box of what I think makes me happy and go exploring...and I do so love an adventure.

The Dates in my last diaries have not been up to par with how princess dates should be…and I am a princess...maybe the boys being ding dongs wasn’t the only thing not making the dates go well…maybe…I know this is shocking…IT WAS ME.

Oh humility, a flavor I so dislike dancing on my palate…yet a vitamin one so needs.

The reality of the situation is that while on the dates from the past diaries the boys weren’t making me happy, but what they were doing was making themselves happy…and who the fuck am I to knock someone down for being whom they are.

What works for one person, does not work for the other…

Now, to look at both sides of shit (as I love so much to do) I was entirely valid in feeling the way I felt on the previous dates…cause that is how I felt…and one cannot tell nobody that how they feel is wrong…period.

I also cannot adjudicate all boys on what some have done to me.

For I am jaded and have been hurt, fucked over and left heartbroken…alas who am I to be pissed off, for there is a path of broken hearts behind me…I get so caught up in how I have been damaged that I put the blinders on to my own imperfections…how I have made others feel...

I hate it when people look at me and judge…or compare who I was in the past to who I am now…I am proof positive that people mature and grow and fuck up and stumble and fall and get back up and keep climbing…and learn from their mistakes…so I need to stop judging everyone else.

And who always says the “right thing”…I sure the hell don’t…I need to have more empathy towards others as I desire them to have with me.

I need to step down from my pedestal and be more accepting…and realize there are exceptions to every rule.

I need to understand that what I think makes me happy…isn’t necessarily the truth.

That maybe I just don’t know.

Man I hope this humble pie comes with some whip cream or something…

I believe that if I cast down my walls, I will open myself up to things I didn’t know would make me happy…I cannot say I don’t like something…when I haven’t even tried it…

And not only do I need to do this when it comes to dating, I need to do it when it comes to life in general.

For example, tonight I scored free tickets to Kenny G…and I have talked plenty of shit about Kenny G…I think I even talked shit about his mom…my sister said she would fuck his nose (I bet it hits the ladies in just the right spot ☺ )…but the truth of the matter is…I have never seen Kenny G…and who the hell am I to talk shit about someone who I have never seen play, who I have never met…that is some bullshit right there on my part…and Kenny G, has been around for a while…his career is more than solid…shit, he is playing four nights in a row here in the city…I have this feeling that I am going to see him, and be like, “Fuck that was a good show…I still humped his mom last night…but that was a good show.”

And it may or may not be my cup of tea…but damm, I won’t know till I taste it.

Yes I did just compare my dating tales to a Kenny G show…you will just have to deal with that one…

And I will deal with the fact that I don’t always know what is best for me…

By taking new things in…I will start to fine tune what I really want…what makes me happy…what I can put up with…

I am pretty sure that is what this whole “dating” thing is about…

Figuring shit out…and making sure you smell good while doing it...crucial.



All right, start by pulling the pie out of the oven…damm that bitch is hot…give your hands a little blow/cool down action and grab your towel and start fanning down the pie…waiting for the pie to cool is a bitch…I recommend smoking a joint while you wait…it helps the time pass…the pie is cool enough (not really, but patience is not my strong suit)…practice cut the pie with the knife in the air, once you have mapped out your slice size begin carving…I recommend cutting each side two to three times...grab the spatula/ pie slice grabbing gizmo, and try to get the slice out…ohhhhhhhhh nooooooooo…it fell apart cause we didn’t wait for it to cool properly…no need to panic…thank god for Plan B…pull out your fork, and just eat it straight from the pan…that is some smoking pie!!!

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