Thursday, January 17, 2013

Blog 101: Ms. Powers (Being Divorced, Part III)

Blog 101: Ms. Powers (Being Divorced, Part III)

(Being Divorced Parts I & II are Blogs 74 & 75)

I got an email from my ex-husband, the subject line said “Doneski” and I knew. All at once a flood of finality and freedom rushed my being…a soft shiver rolled up my spine and sent excitement tingles all over.

This week my mission is to head to city hall, and get my name back…why would I ever give up a last name like “Powers”…I am such a ding dong, I am…and if you see a red-hued rainbow streaking in the sky unyielding bursts of glitter, it may be my super powers finally kicking in…who knows what might happen.

Since the email, thoughts have been swirling in my head….mostly images about the girl I was then, and the woman I have metamorphosed into today.

To me it is almost intangible as well as the most succulent revenge.

I remember back to those years when my dog had died, the realization that I was unhappy had overtaken and paralyzed me…something had to give.

I went to my husband and told him that I was miserable, that owning the restaurant was just too much, my burden was to heavy, and to be honest…it was not what I wanted to do.

I proposed that we moved to San Francisco, we would have the support of my family and that he could still be a great chef without the weight of owning a restaurant…and I could go figure out what the fuck would make me happy.

He asked, “What do you want to do?”

I replied that I have always wanted to work with fashion and I think it would be something that I am good at.

The man who’s dream I had invested my time, money and life into, looked me dead in the eye, laughed and said, “I don’t think you can do that...”

As the months followed I tried to salvage my marriage…but no one can make you satisfied but yourself…and sometimes a road simply waits for your readiness to amble upon it.

When I came to the city, I headed right back into the restaurant business…probably cause it was easy and I was scared…and quite lost.

Until recently I have always felt like I lacked something as a woman.

It used to be my living situation when I first came back to the city and stayed in my parent’s basement. When I moved to my own lair in the tenderloin my self-confidence started to build but lack of conviction with my career still left me feeling inadequate and not quite up to par.

Yet since reading the magic words that my divorce is final through the courts…I have kept on thinking about that day in which I was told my husband didn’t believe in my abilities.

And as my thoughts subside from their spiral tornados…I sit back with a soft smile of elegance and satisfaction and a supple gleam dancing in my eyes (if you know me, you know this look quite well)…because for some reason, without intention or thought…but I think due to fate and destiny…I find myself working full time for a tie-dye clothing company.

It has only recently dawned on me.

I have done it, what I said I was going to do...fulfilling my self prophecy…I have proven my ex-husband wrong…and accomplished a dream I have had since I was young….I am working in the fashion business…with rainbows no less.

Without even meaning to, or realizing that I had…

It has taken me a second to absorb it all in…I didn’t get it at first.

And these feelings…of contentment and satisfaction have empowered me…allowing an aora of serenity to emulate from my being…causing my heart to soften in a way I so desired and knew it so needed to.

For tranquility with yourself brings a sweet peace as well as a distilled immaculate grace.

I wake up everyday, thankful for the blessings that I have and understand that only hard work and patience with sincere acts of surrender with unfold my true path and that basking in the light as I walk might blind me from the future but lead me still in the right direction as long as I have faith.

I have become a truly independent woman who has created my own life and my heart is full of love…for my family, my friends and for myself.

I want not a thing but to strive to be my very best.

And I am confident the universe with provide.

All I have to do is unleash my magical Powers…

You know what else has magical powers? Just Saying….


(Cause the paperwork has got to get done!)

Bring your pile of paperwork to the desk…pull out your chair and sit down…take a deep breathe, cause you can’t let the paperwork overwhelm you (it has that power.) Pull open your file cabinet and find where the first paper goes…damm! who put these things back not in alphabetical order…crap it might have been me being a ding dong…alright…now next paper you got to sign and stamp…and file it away….keep filing till your stack is done…always remember…rewarding yourself with a cocktail is always appropriate and highly recommended…

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