Monday, February 20, 2012

Blog 64: Honey, I just Look this Way...

Blog 64...Honey, I just look this Way...

A man, who didn’t know me at the time, came up to me awhile back and said, “Soooo...Are you just some hippy chick that smokes a bunch of pot and writes a blog?”

Have you ever had a giggle build really low in your stomach and feel it travel all the way up your esophagus...trying to hold it in, and then it comes out in a snort...well that is totally what happened.

As I rattled of my many jobs and began to articulate with the man, the look on his face turned to “somewhat awe”...and in my head I giggled some more and thought, “Honey, I just look this way”

So please don’t let the glitter fool you, nor the fact that my tits look awesomeness cloud your judgment...I might be super cute, look like Shirley Temple, am sparkly and talk in a high voice (my friend told me the more loaded I get the higher my “totally” gets)...but that does not mean that I ain’t got a brain...far from it darlin.

Shhhh...don’t tell anyone, but I am actually quite intelligent.

And I am not referring to the fact that I have a photographic memory (I can pull some crazy facts out of my dome) or the fact that I graduated college in four years even though I had to drop out of one semester due to “stalker” ex-boyfriend and had to go to college part-time for a year to gain my residency...I had a goal of finishing in four years and when I set a goal...well, I mean business. I also started a restaurant with $3,000 (most people usually start one with at least $50,000) that lasted for four years in an industry that eats newcomers up for breakfast in the first year...and if I hadn’t fallen out of love with my ex-husband or if he had learned to say “thank you” I would still own the restaurant.

But when I say I am smart, I really mean beyond the norm cerebral kinda way...more like the “Queen in Training” kinda way...I just try to be low pro with that shit.

Examples of me being mentally awesomeness:

I learn from my mistakes...this might be my biggest attribute. I have fucked up in my day (still am going to) and have watched others screw the pooch many a time, but every wrong I see, I try to see the right, I try to recognize what I didn’t like about a situation and make sure it doesn’t happen again...from the most mind-numbing heartbreak I have found the most glorious light...and it is only because that is the way I choose to look at life. Some of the worst things that have happened to me I can honestly say, I would not have learned my lesson if it had not been so took me hitting bottom to realize I had to change my ways.

My Perception...I might come off as a bubbly, cute ding dong (I even play one in real life) but that is just the wrapping. The truth is I find it easier to be smiling and happy than to be anything else. And being happy is the only thing of myself I really want to brush off on people. To the point of, if I am not in a good mood, I don’t go out...I don’t want to rub my mad mojo off on anyone else...what awesomeness is that going to spread? If I’m not spreading positivity, that ain’t right. My powers should only be used for good.

I try not to Judge...please note that I said “try” after all I am human, and am by no means perfect. But I am also aware that we are all human, and we all need to learn from our will often hear me say, “Who doesn’t want to be loved?...Who doesn’t want to be happy?”...We all have a path to take and that road is not always paved with daisies on the side...and if someone does what they think will make them happy or what they think is for love, than far be it for me to stand in their way.

I let you be You...I was out with some of my friends last week and my girlfriend and I were talking about our friend, he is a business owner that is a little extravagant, but a total sweetheart...yet he has seemed to rub some people the wrong way...but the fact is in business, sometimes you got to rub people the wrong is business, and in the music industry, you got to get over that shit...the thing is...if you love him and simply except this man for who he is, and let him do his thing the way he wants to do it...he will let you do the same, you just have to respect him. My friend turned to me and said, “That is what I love about you, I feel that I can be totally me around you, and it is so encourage me to be me.” I took this is as a great compliment...times 11.

I try to always leave things on a good Note...When I first moved back to San Francisco I ran into the friend that had robbed me and my ex-husband back in the the time he was hooked on some bad drugs...when I saw him 9 years later, I gave him a hug, he was fucking shocked, you could see it in his face, I mentioned nothing of the robbery, I felt no need to, I no longer grew pot, I don’t deal with any of that shit anymore, and to be honest, getting robbed was a humbleness that my ex and I needed to experience, we were getting to over our heads at the greedy. And as I looked into my friend’s eyes I tried to send a forgiveness that I hoped he would feel. For carrying around anger is so detrimental to one’s being, and letting it go is so freeing. Besides, leaving things on a good note, sets up good things...If I run into him again, there is not going to be any negatively, no awkwardness, if you let it go, but remember your lesson that you learned it just is simply less drama, and drama is a bitch and a half...totally.

So while I look and come off as a ditzy sparkle chick, there is way more to me, but darlin you have to take the time to figure that shit out...

And while you are figuring out how awesome I am, you should be realizing how fucking awesome you are as well.

For I am a firm believer that when you can see the awesomeness in yourself, you can see it everybody.

The saying “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is an age old saying...cause it is the fucking truth.



Start by finding a ball that is the right weight (get your mind out of the gutter)...I usually have to pick up 3-5 balls to find on I like (once I find the right one I give it a little spin in my hands)...all right, we got our ball, time to line up with the pins, start with your feet together, pull the bowling ball up to your you step your left leg forward, swing your right arm with the ball back, as you take a step or two forward let your arm swing forward and right as your hand passes your hip let the ball fly...I kinda lean to the side as it goes down the lane...and victory dance...cause it is a STRIKE.

1 comment:

  1. All these reasons (& many more you didn't name) are exactly why I love you & the world does,too! Good to see you appreciating your own awesomeness. And you're just at the tip of the iceberg,you have so much more awesomeness beneath the surface! It's always more fun under the surface,lots goin on down there. heh heh :-)