Blog 62: The Power of Glitter! (Part One)
As I opened my gate to get ready to brace the world for the first time in a week after being sick, the sun beat down on my shoulders and I almost fell back due to the presence of the crack head peeing two feet from me, dick in hand...fuck facing a wall or going in between two cars, just stand in the middle of the sidewalk and let it all go.
I quickly looked down at my nose (as I often do in the Tenderloin when I see something that I don’t want to)...the specks of Glitter on my nose blinded me instantly and made me not able to look back up (thank God)...reason number 43 why Glitter is fucking awesomeness.
My History with Glitter...
I did not always wear Glitter, in fact I thought it was kinda weird that people in San Francisco rocked the Glitter when I moved back home from Eugene. I remember the first time I sported it was a few New Year’s Eves back...my sister saw me getting dressed up and I asked her what I was missing, she said “Glitter”...I was a little nervous but went for it, she told me, “If there is a day to wear Glitter, New Year’s Eve is it.”
Now while I had popped my Glitter cherry I had still not warmed up to the idea completely...until I met my awesome boss...the one who I love so much and learn so much from...(Blog 54)...she not only wears glitter but even little glittery eye gems from time to time...one day I put some glitter on my eyes where most people put eye shadow...I asked her how it looked and she looked me dead in the eye, lifted her finger and replied, “Never be afraid to Sparkle.”
When I glitter little children now, as I often do...it can stop them from crying, it can help them finish their breakfast when I am working brunch, it can make their brother stop teasing them (especially if you glitter him too) and make them settle down when they are bouncing off the walls, and every time I glitter them, I repeat what my boss said, “Never be afraid to Sparkle.”
I think that was why I was afraid of glitter in the beginning, because I was scared to sparkle, to stand out...oh how times have changed...I am a firm believer in “Spreading the Sparkle.”
Now I wear glitter everyday (unless I’m sick)...I put in on my eyelids and my orbital bone, the last part I do so that when I hug people, a little bit of glitter rubs of on them. “Spreading the Sparkle” is right bitches.
And I have been known to sparkle mass groups of people...whether it is the 60-75 people I got at the Boom Boom Room (Blog 13)...people still talk about that and the whole room sparkled...or certain days I work at the restaurant...once I got everyone who worked there, all the customers, even the two puppies outside...Glittered...it was one of my proudest moments.
Some guys are like, “What do I tell my girlfriend?”
Tell them you got sparkled by one of those crazy glitter chicks...this is San Francisco, as long as you ain’t rocking glitter on your cock, you should be okay, and if your chick is that up tight...well, honey...that is your own hell to have to deal with, not mine.
Once I went to a show where the band I work for was playing and I sparkled one of the guys from the opening act and he yelled at me!!! He was like, “This is so disrespectful, I can’t believe you glittered me, how am I suppose to get up on stage in front of these people with glitter on my face.”
Well, first off, I did say opening band, so he wasn’t going to get back up on stage any time soon, second off, honey this is the music business, you are going to have to get used to hot girls glittering you...so Nut the Fuck up and deal...it’s big boy pant time now.
On the night of glittering the Boom Boom Room I got one of my friends who hates glitter with a passion, he stood there looking at me in shock, I returned the gaze with a massive smile, wide eyes and a “what the fuck is he going to do to me” expression on my face...
He replied with, “Fuck, I have been saying for months that whoever glittered me I was going to give them the most massive amount of psychedelics that I could.”
I was like, “Sweet, give me,” and held out my hand out excitedly...
He was like, “I know, that is why I am so upset, because of all the people to glitter me, you are the one person who would be TOTALLY okay with this punishment.”...what a glorious evening I had...ohhhhh, the colors, the sparkles, the moonbeams and unicorns...wow.
Sometimes I just sneak a Glitter...someone will be talking to me and I will just pull it out of my purse and WAMMMMMM! They look at me and I just stand their beaming my pretty smile, enjoying my work, and they just shake their heads...then I look them dead in the eye, lift my finger and say, “Never be afraid to Sparkle.”
Glitter, just makes me smile...and I am a firm believer that we all sparkle, with or without glitter, I am just taping into my “inner sparkle”...
And if you don’t like glitter, well more for me, I do recommend that if you hug me you don’t let me “snugglet” you cause you will be covered (you should see my mom when I am done with her...tee hee hee)...and usually if people tell me they don’t like glitter I will leave them alone, unless you threaten me with copious amounts of psychedelics...than whose fault is that, really.
Glitter helps everything just look better, and when you live in the Tenderloin, and see the shit that I see...you could use some sparkle...maybe if the crack heads tapped into their “inner sparkle” they might see how grey and dark smoking crack is...
Maybe one day I won’t need to wear glitter cause everyone will be aware that they sparkle without glitter...maybe one day we will all recognize how awesome we all really are...
Until that day, and maybe even after...I will be rocking my Glitter and “Spreading the Sparkle” as any good Princess should.
DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK
SPREADING THE SPARKLE
Start by putting some Glitter on your orbital bone (once again for those who don’t know, the orbital bone is the half-moon shaped bone underneath your eye)...now go out on the town and start to meet new people and run into peeps that you know, when you hug them, make sure your cheek gets some cheek on cheek contact with them...pull away, give them a look and say, “you’re sparkly” and walk away, they won’t even notice...by the time you are done with the evening, you might have to put your sunglasses on...cause the town will be blinging!