Sunday, January 23, 2011

Blog 2..MAN CAMEL TOE..or MAMEL TOE..SAYING "FUCK IT" & MUSIC IN THE DIRTY


BLOG 2….MAN CAMEL TOE..OR MAMUEL TOE/
SAYING “FUCK IT” & MUSIC IN THE DIRTY.


**thanks everyone for reading my blog…again…this is a project I have been working on…so it could have been thought yesterday or months before…but all thoughts occurred in the Tenderloin.******

Thought 1
Um I have heard several names for Man Camel Toe,  Mamuel Toe, Goat Hoof…how bout MOTHERFUCKING ouch, ouch ouch ouch, and owwwwwwwwwww.   Seriously let me give you mamuel kickers a  couple tips on the man-toe from a lady…  
A.      it is not attractive and it looks painful.
B.      If you are short, having a Goat Hoof does not distract from your shortness, and the lift, prop and separate does NOT MAKE IT LOOK ANY BIGGER….seriously…COME ON PEEPS..OWWW.
C.      (I totally looked the guy up and down and said “owwwwww’…tee hee hee.)
D.      Dick and tits are two totally different things.  It is cool to show off your tits…or I find more people are going to be like “yeahhhh titty cleavage”…dick cleavage, not to much, im actually going to give that a complete no on the dick cleavage…TOTALLY

                           Thought 2
You have to learn how to say “fuck it”  Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to think you are cool (I am however), but when you learn not to give a flying fuck what other people think about you, you begin to love and accept yourself in ways that you never thought imaginable.  No one is perfect, and we all can be ding dongs, and we all don’t always say the right things, the important part is your intentions.  If you have good intentions, and always try to do your best, well fuck it.  And you should surround yourself with friends and family that accept you for you, your faults and your achievements…and in return, do the same for them.  I surround myself with loving  people that I know are good, that way they don’t have to apologize and neither do I, and if they don’t have good intentions, I wash them from my life.....fuck it.


Thought 3
It would be really cool if for the sake of awesomeness the city would put speakers on the street.  Music makes everything better.  For example.  When I am walking down Post and hit Larkin (with my corkscrew pointed out of course.)  I have it on all corners..hookers, crackheads, transvestites, drunk peeps…..it would be awesome if as I hit that corner..i would hea it start to bump..than ohh yeah…” who’s got the funk…baby I got the funk…your funky funky”  I mean Im just saying…that shit would make me dance, crack the fuck up, and not only that…that shit is funny.  And it’s a perfect soundtrack for that street…totally. 
*****please though if speakers are installed…can a 
‘no techno’ rule be enforsed..please for the sake of my eardrums..thump, thump, thump, thump, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Dance move #2
My friend from Eugene taught me this one, thanks B.
The hop into the shower dance
Start by either opening the door or the curtain, then step one foot over the tub, then the other…now turn on the hot and cold water.   Get wet, now wash yourself with soap..i usually spin in a circle scrubbing for this one.  Make sure you get the pits, and the butt, shake it off, turn the water faucets off….open the door, grab the towel and put it behind your back, as you step over the tub towel off…I usually shake my boobs when I towel off, but I mean a chance to shake your tits is a chance to shake your tits.

Shake it on down now.

2 comments:

  1. I was at Unadilla world motocross races in NY as a kid. As usual when I good looking woman walked through the crowd, the bikers and bystanders would circle around the woman, surrounding her with hundreds of inebriated male bodies. They all were chanting, "Show your tits" as they always did. This particular female somehow confused showing off tits with dicks and demanded they all show their dicks first. Well, she was quite caught by surprise when over a hundred men dropped their pants on cue and displayed their favorite tools. Luckily for her they didn't demand entry into her toolbox which was locked tight and although each and every male thought he had the key, they backed down once she lifted her shirt. If she hadn't though some of these guys would still be in jail for what would've happened next. Nevertheless, my aunts and female cousins never attended this even again and it quickly became devoid of any women at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. that shit cracks me the fuck up...AWESOMENESS

    ReplyDelete