Friday, January 21, 2011

welcome back bitches/ intro & blog one


So here it goes...take two on the blog...hopefully no chicken fuckers will shut me down for saying chicken fuckers to much...welllll


I am going to republish my first blogs(I have improved them some,) just so you can get into all that is chewy about my blog...totally

(please note, my blogs are not dated, and might have happened a while ago or recently...you figure it out)

Let me get started by saying one thing....I'm not really a princess...not in the castle, jewels and I've got some say in how we run shit sort of way.

I am a princess because I see the tenderloin as my palace.  People might look at it and sneer, I dive right in to the darkness and still shine my light....in fact my light penetrates the cold and evil...and my smile spreads...I've seen and I believe in my being positive...
deal with it peeps.
In my reality...I'm a princess.


Im a 30 year old red head, that just really started living my life, and let me tell you, it is freaking awesome.

I am blessed to live in the tenderloin in San Francisco, why do I feel blessed to live in the tenderloin, well here are some reasons..........

an example of a perfect tenderloin evening.....i take a cab after doing my white girl dancing at the boom boom room....(examples of white girl dancing are, "the lawnmower, the sprinkler, the hop into the shower dance, driving the bus, the stinky panties dance, the rollercoaster........and so forth) There is always good live music at the boom boom room(and the shit I can get away with there....awesomeness) I get dropped of on Polk and Post so i can pick up whip its for making home made whip cream all night...yeah believe that one....anyhoo, i get out and walk to my awesome local whip it store (a "smoke shop") that is open til 3am and they are cheap....awesomeness. 
Papi, as i call him, (I pretty much call every dude "Papi",) is outside talking to a hooker, who turns out to be a girl that was in the "Sugar Bootie Contest" at the boom boom room with me a couple of months ago.....crazyness, a real hooker in my bootie contest, I knew something was up when she popped and dropped it in what I thought was going to be a PG bootie contest.
Then papi tries to proposition me, i tell him no, but talk him down on a 'tabacco' pipe :) Then i ask the question ive been wanting to ask for weeks, "which whip its are the best, the red or the blue"....... so i get the red, i have him double bag it so i can use the case as a weapon if need be,

 i forgot my corkscrew which is what i usually use as a weapon in the tenderloin, yeah i watched TRUE ROMANCE.

(note to peeps...I will constantly refer to make shift weapons in the tenderloin....a person always has got to be prepared.)

So then Papi and i get into a conversation about how everything is a circle, and we all have to help each other out, and how good energy is important, and how we can all spread it to each other......awesomeness and im on my way, i stop half a block down for a piece of 24 hour pizza, crucial.

I then walk down another block where my favorite hookah bar owner offers me free smoke and says i am welcome to come smoke for free, and i think he hits on me, but ive been at a show all night and im pretty loaded so im really not sure.....but free hookah....totally

then i pass my neighbor across the hall on the corner, who yes, is offically a transvestite hooker, i know now because i see her/him picking up a dude and walking towards my apartment direction....

I then pass two dudes laughing at their friend who is sitting on the curb about to puke with a crack head yelling at him, "just put your finger down your throat you will feel better, damm it"

I have to stable myself on a wall so i can laugh and fist pump while yelling "i love the tenderloin"

I get on my block just as the tranny and her man are closing the gate.

See this is what is so great about the tenderloin....as a six foot tall red head, who can be a little(LOT)nutty...I don't stick out.

Dear Tenderloin....I love you.
you have helped me love being able to be me.


BLOG ONE
....everything in awesomeness

Alright so here we go again.....lessons i have learned in the pass few days......

lesson one....
if you are going to pass out at a raging party...look cute while you do it, and remember that if you do pass out....at least you didnt say anything stupid.....and you know i always look cute....totally. (but it never hurts to tell a lady to move out of the way of the door, come one peeps)

or this is how i realized that you have to find the awesomeness in everything. Dont focus on the negative or what you might feel bad about, that makes you feel like crap, focus on what you can high five yourself on and you will feel so much better.

lesson two.... 
fire your man....this is to my lady friends who bitch about their men. ladies if your not happy with your man, get rid of him and do it your own damm self. And if you are not going to nut up and get rid of a man who is obviously not good enough for you....well who's fault is that.

dont get me wrong ladies, being single is not all tea and crumpets...im single, and while dating is well.......wellll...we all know...its is better than being with a guy that doesnt treat you like you should be treated, a guy that wont commit, i guy that doesnt work, or talks down to you, or doesnt make you feel like the most awesome think since hot fudge......

I treat myself better than i have ever been treated by anyone. And i refuse to settle for anyone that doesnt match that standard......

awesomeness in this, i feel a whole lot better being single after hearing about multiple lady friends relationship issues.

lesson three....
food poisoning is a bitch and a half....totally

awesomeness in this...i think i lost like 3 pounds...whoop whoop

lesson four..... 
biker boys that open doors and wont let you pay for shit is awesomeness, and unexpected.........note to men...im not dependent on shit, i have like six jobs, but for me, I dig a guy that realizes how hard i work and likes to treat me and makes me feel special, and guys should open doors for ladies, and all that great stuff....it doesnt mean i need you to do all this stuff for me, but damm, it makes me feel nice.....and to think, he is just a friend...somebody is going to be happy.....
chivalry is not dead...awesomeness

lesson five
the red ones are better..,.totally

Okay those are the the lessons for this week. now on to a couple other things, HALLOWEEN is freaking awesome...free tv for sure...go into a diner at 230 in the morning and watch what comes in on halloween, 230 in the morning usually is really interesting....times 10 if you throw costumes in the mix.

having a car in the city is a bitch....ohhhh and the pick up line "i had never met a girl from kanas before, but if they are like you im moving there" sounds even lamer when im borrowing my friends car and ive never been to kanas....ding dong

if you increase your incline on a treadmill up to a 30 percent incline and go up and down from 20 to 30 every 3 minutes, you can totally burn 700 calories in 40 minutes.....awesomeness

Dance of the week
"The Mixer'
Take your knee and put it at a 90 degree angle..start to rotate it..now get into it...put your arms out, and while rotating your leg, spin in a cirlce (note...if you have had more he 7 drinks...this might be tuff...if only 6 drinks, fuck it, put your seat belt on and spin)
MIX THAT SHIT UP.



1 comment:

  1. I had a Tenderloin moment in Eugene, OR a few years back although it didn't make my loins all that tender. Some biker pulled up in my driveway and his girl popped out of the passenger side asking to use my phone. I led her to the car port and said i would pull the phone out there but she couldn't go inside ( it smelled like a certain flower). She gratefully nodded her head and then asked if I wanted a line of meth which I turned down. The guy with the beard who remained in the car seemed restless given that he couldn't hear what she was saying. She told me she had been up all night at a party and wanted to party with me indicating that she still wanted to go inside the house by the way the pointed at the door with her tongue trying poke through her cheek. It was a warm summer day but her nipples could be seen trying to poke through her tank-top as she rolled her tongue around her lips over and over again while mentioning repeatedly that her crazy party from the night before didn't need to end now. My eyes focuses in on her breasts again as she cupped them with her hands and I realized to my shock that that white tank-top cornicing her chest and cut-off jeans wasn't a tank top at all but a pair of men's jockey briefs that had the pee-hole slit sliced open so her head could pop out with her arms protruding from the leg holes. I told her I was all good and couldn't help wondering what happened at that crazy party with the bikers.

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