Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Blog 41...How to be a Rock Star without Playing an Instrument...

Blog 41...How to be a Rock Star without Playing an Instrument...

I have the privilege of knowing some Rock Stars, and consider some of them my friends, and they have the extreme privilege of knowing me, and being my friend and besides myself being a princess, I am clearly a Rock Star, and I don’t even play an instrument...damm, did I just drop the microphone.

(just a little side note...we are all Rock Stars, you just might be hiding you inner Jagger, but baby, it’s in there...now high kick, point and scream)

So, how did I reach this Rock Star Status?

Welllllllll...practice, practice, practice, sheer luck, internal fire, watching shit, a sense of humor and one hell of an ass. (hey if it worked for Kim Kardashian, why they hell can’t it work for me.)

So Lessons I have Learned along the way...

-It is Okay to Take...

Now first and foremost, if you are ever in a green room at the end of a show and there is left over booze, beer, mixers, fresh juice, some fruit, good chips, Popeye’s, whatever, you got hands, pockets, a plastic bag that you fill up with Sierra Nevada’s and it rips in the van on the way back to the hotel...you will get thirsty later, you might get hungry, there might be a party...that shit comes in handy, and leftovers are always awesomeness, especially when it is rum.

And, not only are you helping yourself out but others too, this is a key element in being a Rock Star...Cause whatever you score, you share.

Some fan gives you some pot, you smoke some, but can’t take it on the plane, or you got given too much, you are a Rock Star, you give it to your friends, or your road crew...those are some hard working mother fuckers, or to another band to help them out, or the guy that gave you the good whiskey, the fan that said you changed his life or a cute-broke-red-headed princess that could always use more pot...totally.

Always say thank you, and make sure you pass on your fortunes.

-Keep your Private Side, Private.

No one wants to know what happens on the bus...unless it involves drugs, sex and rock and roll. Rock Stars aren’t rock stars cause they take a shit, contemplate their navel and cut their toenails. No No No...I don’t even go out if I am not in a good mood, cause if I am not 100% Sunny, I don’t want to put a lesser version of me out there.

And we all have bad days, and bad shows, but focusing on that side of it will not bring you the positive attention that a true Rock Star deserves.

-Say “Fuck It” and keep on Rocking you out.

Fergie pissed herself on stage and didn’t give a flying fuck, she kept on singing, than got booked for the Super Bowl where she sang that song from the “Dirty Dancing” soundtrack. Now as completely gross as I found the entire previous sentence, you got to give credit where credit is due. Cause not giving a shit that you pissed yourself in front of a butt load of people and just shrugging it off and continuing to rock yourself out takes some MASSIVE ROCK STAR BALLS right there.

I said it along time ago in Blog 2...”but when you learn not to give a flying fuck what other people think about you, you begin to love and accept yourself in ways that you never thought imaginable”

-Embrace you

I think this is what separates real Rock Stars from the wanna be.

A True Rock Star is all them all the time, they are okay with being in the box when they want to be and outside the box when they feel like it. It is all in what they are feeling. What makes them happy.

I am fucking awesomeness in a person, and not only that, I try my fucking hardest to be a good fucking person. You don’t like me, whatever, I respect your opinion, as you should respect mine...whatever makes you fucking happy, and whatever makes me happy...this is one of the key elements to Rock Star Status...being you, and letting others be who they want to be.

We all have our own lessons to learn in this life

-We Inspire Each Other

Even a Rock Star is inspired, WE ALL INSPIRE EACH OTHER. What Rock Star wouldn’t flip if they got to meet Stevie Wonder, the writer of their favorite song or the doctor that saved their momma’s life...

What you might consider a Rock Star, I don’t...just cause I pay to go see someone play music, does not make them a rock star, it makes them a musician. And musicians pay people to entertain them too, or to do shit for them...and I would bet my left breast they know people that don’t play and instrument that they consider Rock Stars.

An example of this in a good and bad way is the “Girls Gone Wild” dude.

Homie does not play an instrument but made a shit ton of money and got to hang out with cute, naked chicks and watch them make out...oh, and he owns and island, I’m giving him Rock Star Status, how he figured out that one, God only knows.

Now of course he had to be a dumb ass about shit and not do it proper and now he is in jail...which is how he dropped in the Rock Star Standing...(but when he gets out he will still have the island)

Which leads me to my last lesson, and one I have said many times...

- Try to Do it Right...and Learn along the Way

You show me a musician/band that has a following that follows them around the world, and I’ll show you someone who does that shit right (or is trying to) they put their hearts and souls into it.

And as you build your following you learn lessons along the way, and you learn from other's mistakes (don’t film under-aged girls doing naughty things to each other) And it is in that acceptance that we are all not perfect but we try, and in trying, sometimes we produce sound, laughter, things, beauty that move a people...and that my friend, makes you a FUCKING ROCK STAR...seeing that possiblity not only in yourself, but in others.

Who are you going to Move today, tomorrow?

Who are you going to Inspire?

How are you going to Encourage yourself to Shine?

Cause being a Rock Star, is bringing out the Rock Star in all of us, starting with you.

Now...Shine on...times 11.


LEG GUITAR (this dance was first done by a row of three hot ladies in matching long dresses at a Widespread Panic Show in Eugene, Oregon, many years ago)

Now this dance is an act of balance, and if you got some core muscle kicking, you should be in okay. Another important pre-game part to this dance is stretching out your hamstring, cause if you throw your leg up, well, let’s just say it is good to stretch. Now choke up on your ankle with your hand, make sure you have a good grip, bending your upper torso down a little to help you keep balance, use your free hand to start rocking that leg guitar out...see I knew you had that Rock Star in you.

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