Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Blog 51...To Sacrifice (Sabbatical Chronicles Part II)

Blog 51...To Sacrifice (Sabbatical Chronicles Part II)

Sacrifice: The act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else more important or worthy.

When is it proper to sacrifice?

When is it a good time to be selfish?

What is the deciding factor?

What...Who...is worth the sacrifice?

Is the sacrifice, the loss, the solitude.....does it justify the outcome?

What if… what we feel like is a sacrifice, is actually us opening the door to a possibility of a happiness we never knew existed?

What if we have to sacrifice what we think makes us happy, to truly be happy?

Should we be able to find happiness in anything?

Is it ever wrong to put our own wants before someone else's?

Is it always wrong?

What makes something or someone "Worth It."

When does one choose to Sacrifice and when does one choose to be Selfish?

These questions & others have been plaguing me all week.

When do we put other's needs in front of our own?

And when do we put our own personal needs before others...

When is it that our needs come first and others don’t?

Maybe to be truly happy we must sacrifice all that we deem worthy…for as the song goes… “You can’t always get what you want…but you get what you need...”

What is it that we truly need?

Or are all our wants and desires just things that we put in front of our happiness?

Do we really need anything?

Or can we just be happy… no matter what?

What if we sacrifice our wants in order to reach eternal happiness?

As I come to the realization that I must take a job offer that seems like some bad joke and as my personal world continues to swirl out of control…My dad’s voice echoes in my head…. “You must learn to surrender…surrender…surrender” …and yet sometimes it causes me to tremble…tremble…tremble.

And as I think of what the word “sabbatical” truly means… I consider that this sabbatical that I think of…maybe a sabbatical not from sex but from WANT…from the things that I desire, from the need…that desire simply gets in the way of a chosen path that stands before me.

If I am truly to reach my throne as Queen… what sacrifice comes with it?

What eternal wonder is to follow?

Is it not all “worth it”

Who gets to decide what is more important than the others?

And if we ever truly sacrifice something that means so much to us…does in not return in some way or another…eventually… or is that just a pipe dream?

I have decided to stay true to my sabbatical …but maybe I didn’t really understand what I meant by saying “sabbatical” in the beginning…

I need to go outside of myself, and what I think makes me happy…and just be happy.

I need to step away from what I hold dear to truly understand what is important to me.

I need to lose my feelings of “want”… a Sabbatical from “want.”

It is a lesson that I need to learn.

And maybe in learning it…I can teach others the virtue of sacrifice.

Maybe if I put everything in front of my wants, and just do what brings happiness to others…I will find it.

Maybe I will encourage others to sacrifice “wants” for happiness…

Maybe I will inspire…

That would be awesomeness…times 11.

If that does not work…maybe I’ll go shopping…

Speaking of shopping…



All right…walk up and down the aisles…picking up a shoe here and there, find one that you like…make sure the soles bend (this is a trick of my mom’s to test if the shoe is going to be comfortable…if the bottom does not bend, it aint going to be comfy)…now take the shoes out of the box…slip one on ...do a half runway strut…got to have a “strut worthy” shoe…it works…its fly…you can do your dance moves in them (practice a couple..ie..”hop into the shower dance”)…oh yeah., these shoes totally work…you will take them….now strut your fly ass out the store…

1 comment:

  1. Or can we just be happy… no matter what?