Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Blog 59: People Don't Change...

Blob 59...People Don’t Change...

(*please note...the following is only my personal opinion, and this does not make it the truth, and lessons and other factors may change my opinion in the future...it is simply my view at this point.*)

People don’t change, they grow...from the highs, the lows and the lessons, they cultivate, slowly morphing into the person that stands before you.

And the person’s breath that stammers upon your face one day, may have evolved the very next.

I hear all the time that you “ You Can’t Change a Man.”

Well darlin, you can’t change anyone.

But they sure the hell can Grow, when they are fucking good and ready.

I personally believe that we are inherently who we are, we have something unique unto ourselves that does not match anyone else...I am also a firm believer that we are inherently good, and mean no ill intention.

The only way I can validate my point is to use myself as an example, for it is the being I know best.

I had very little friends growing up and when I went off to my first college in Humboldt, I lied...I made up stories about my parents and my past so I would sound cool and people would like me.

Can you say dumb ass?

What really gets me about this...Is that my parents are fucking cool as shit, I mean seriously, I brag about my parents all the time now, but at the time, I was young, dumb and needed to learn how to appreciate my parents, a lesson that I have aced with time.

And if I had given myself time to pass, I would have realized that my past is damm fucking special too, I just didn’t have enough confidence.

But throughout the fabrications, I was still me, I was still a good person, a great friend, a goof ball...I was me, my heart was still good and my intentions were pure...I was simply lost.

When I moved from Humboldt, I vowed to start over, to be honest...today I feel like my honesty is one of my best traits.

I see people from Humboldt from time to time and it is a constant reminder for me to be true and pure in my speech.

How much I have grown.

Sometimes you have to be pruned, and shrunken so your growth can go in many new directions.

I used to love to party, and darlin, I mean party...but the second time I had psoriasis I realized the toll my lifestyle was taking on my body...and I simply stopped...The lady that you see grooving at shows now, was not in the same head space a year ago...Funny, I don’t even miss it.

I actually enjoy the lucidity swirling in my brain...a certain clarity and I find myself wanting to do way more than simply “partying”...not to mention I get way more sleep which makes me feel even more awesomeness...

I still go out and have a great time, I still smoke pot and see colors, I even hang out with people that “party”...I simply feel I have a more acute awareness of reality than I used to (and people who are totally loaded I am way more conscious of...totally.)

And the whole thing has made me feel way more older, and wiser.

In fact with age I have begun to look more at myself as the root of my problems, and in order to truly Grow, my roots have to be strong.

I have learned that who I am as a person is truly a beautiful flower...but I am human, and succumb to my wants and desires...and each time I indulge in one of the seven deadly sins I come out wanting to do it less...to truly free myself of my human shortcomings.

Sometimes we don’t grow the way we need to in this lifetime, sometimes it takes many.

Sometimes we are stuck in the same rut, with the same results cause we fail to stare into the mirror...sometimes we stare too hard.

Things will be stagnant until one looks within...for that is where true growth comes from.

No, people don’t change, their core is their core, and it has a light.

It is simply how they choose to channel their light that changes over time.

And as we grow, may our inner light grow...having it become the sun, and encouraging growth within others.



All right, start with your bucket of soapy water and your rag...bring that action up to the car, place it down, now grab your hose, brace yourself, and give the car a good squirt down...get your rag all soapy and start to wash your car in a “wax on, wax off” motion...make sure you get it all, including the hubcaps...okay now it is spray down time, you know you got to “accidentally” get the person that walks by your car...opps...all right all the suds are off and it is time to towel dry (please do not use the hood of your car as a slip & slide)...damm, that car is looking clean...totally.

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