Monday, January 2, 2012

Blog 58: Blessing & Tenderloin Weapons (Part III)

Blog 58...Blessings & Tenderloin Weapons (Part III)

I need to take a moment to tell everyone how blessed I family suffered a loss this New Year’s Eve...our friend died, struck by a car after the Further show on the 30th...It is a blow that has struck the family deep, that caused our minds to quake and our hearts to break...

And I feel blessed, for I saw my friend that night of the 30th, I saw him smiling his beautiful smile, I saw him looking fly (he even had his sparkly hat on) I witnessed him enjoying himself in the blissfulness of the show, I had the extreme privilege to tell him that I loved him, all a couple hours before he flew away and left this world.

The last images I have of him in my head are those of him doing what he loved to do most, with the people he loved, smiling as big as he always smiled...what a beautiful memory to have etched in my mind...and such a fitting thought of my friend.

And I implore all of us to tell our friends and family how much we love them all the time, as often as you can, for you never know when death won’t have no mercy in this land...and I take solace in knowing that my friend knew exactly how much I loved him, it is a small warmth that heats the frost infiltrating my heart.

And not only do I beg all of you to share your love, but also be safe...look out for yourself and one another.

My family is always concerned for my safety living in the Tenderloin...which might explain why I got over 3 new tenderloin weapons for Christmas.

(Tenderloin Weapons Parts I & II are blogs 8 and 20, respectively)

Now none of these new weapons surpass my all time favorite of the Corkscrew...still my #1...light weight, fierce and completely legal, I intimidate walking the streets at night with my corkscrew dad and friends, obviously thought I needed a little more

The Crazy Ass Flashlight:
How pumped was my dad when he gave me my new Tenderloin Weapon (I can not believe he expects me to carry this beast in my purse)...this flashlight not only has three settings including a blinding flashing light that would stop a crack head in its tracks, it also has a heavy-scalloped brim that would open someone’s head on first blow...did I mention that my dad also had my last name engraved on it so when I wallop the crack head on the dome the last thing they are going to see is my last name “Powers” flashing before their eyes...if there is a time to say “Settle down dad.” This might be that time.

The Key Chain Alarm:
I’m pretty sure my dad was thinking, “if she can’t grab her corkscrew, flashlight, fan, kazoo, whistle etc...she can grab her keys” (I think my purse now constitutes an arsenal) I actually was not surprised when I pulled out of my stocking a Key Chain Alarm, a blaring noise that far surpasses the annoying shrill of techno music...with this deafening sequence of beeps aint no one going to be able to break into my back seat.

Silly String:
My friend came over with a couple small gifts and as he held the last one out, a smile spread over his face, and he said, “This you will love.” I started to jump around in excitement as I unveiled the package, thrusting the can of silly string into everyone’s face so they could see my prize. And let me tell you...crack heads freak the fuck out over silly string! I recommend if one bothers you to start your spraying and then continue in a full circle around them so you can encompass them with your string, you can even yell “You’re a mummy now” and run will have at least five minutes to run away, which gives you like a 20 min head start in crack head time (they get distracted easily)

Other weapons that I find work quite well are nail files and the whistle I use for getting cabs...

I was really impressed by the old lady walking around with a wrench in her hand...and I thought I was a bad ass.

Worse comes to worse you can throw some white tic-tacs on the sidewalk and go “fuck I dropped my rocks.” No one will pay any attention to you after that, and the whole block’s breath will smell good...twofer.

Do what you have to do keep safe, the family does not need another loss, we have suffered enough.

Remember the significance of loud noises and telling people that you love them.

Simply Remember.

I was given the New Year’s Eve ticket of my friend who passed...I went in his place. It was the hardest show that I have ever gone to, I cried for most of it...I had to leave before the encore, my knees began to give out.

I was told they encored with “Terrapin Station.”

I replied, “I got my inspiration.”



Why I did not do this one sooner, I have no idea, but a classic is a classic.

Start by taking your left hand and bringing it to the back of your head keeping your elbow out. Extend your right hand out straight ahead and start to slowly pump in around in a half moon shape, now bring it back with faster pumps, and repeat this succession...until you got a good soak on.

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