Friday, June 8, 2012

Blog 79: Life is Like a Rollercoaster

Blog 79: Life is Like a Rollercoaster…


Since moving back to San Francisco over three years ago, I have started a tradition on my birthday…I ride the rollercoasters at Great America…

I used to go there when I was in grade school on school field trips…the rides seemed so much scarier than...

I find it a fitting way to celebrate a new year of life, for in reality…Life is like a rollercoaster.

Last year I recall an incident on the “Drop Zone”…it is this ride that sends you up in the air approximately twenty-two stories high, holds you for a couple seconds and then drops you down in a swift instant. I went on the ride four times so I could get a panoramic view…on my last drop (and yes I did push a slow moving teenager out of the way so I could get a fourth turn in…sometimes those youngens amble so slow and have no sense of urgency…and yes…I might have called him “a slow moving whipper-snapper.”) I was situated with my friend to my right and on my left, two teenage girls that were freaking the fuck out…as we ascended, they started to scream and fidget and it was making it hard for me to concentrate on the killer painting taking place as the dusk touched the sky…one girl turned to me and said, “Aren’t you scared?”

I replied, “Honey, you are spending too much time being scared…on something that you know is going to happen...something you chose to do...chill…look at the view…check out the sun saying good-night, how small everything really is…”

I saw her take a deep breath and look out upon the horizon…for a second…serenity took over her face…and just has she got her bearings, the bottom fell out from underneath us and we plummeted down…as we came to a halt…she turned to me and said, “That was awesome!!!!!”

I replied (as only a loaded, sparkly ass princess can do on her birthday) “Life is like a rollercoaster…you can get all petrified and let fear take over, or you can put your arms in the air, check out the killer views and enjoy the fucking ride…it is one or the other darling.”…and off I went to try to get one more turn on the stand up ride known as “The Vortex”…

(I only mention this ride for one reason…as a woman, I highly recommend the stand up rides to all women…there is something about having that seat in between your legs, and having to put weight down on it…maybe it is cause I wear dresses, but let me tell you, I ride that ride five times in a row if I can…there is this one part where is rocks from one side to another…look out NURSE!!!! I get off the ride saying “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” shaking and trembling and have to hit a wall a couple times and than change panties…all ladies should ride this ride as many times as possible…totally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

And as my birthday fast approaches…I feel the ungulating waves of life bouncing me up and down…and for a second, I let it shake my core…disrupt my happiness and plans of yesterday…in fact the fear of another year in which I might fall short on my potential left me in bed…frozen in a despondent state…and as I tried to shower off my funk of a mood, I thought about my approaching trip to the amusement park, and my conversation with the girl last year…I thought about life in general…its imperfection and tribulations…its soaring highs…the loops it takes us on…the thrills…the screams…

How when we think we have found peace, we fall twenty two stories but still end up with a smile on our face...

How it is simply so much easier to enjoy the ride.

How you can be screaming in fear and in delight at the same time.

Sometimes seeing others so scared makes fear seem so silly...

I recall the first year I went with my boyfriend at the time, and we went on this ride called “The Revolution” it takes that pirate ship action-ness to a whole new level, cause instead of just rocking side to side, this bitch actually goes all the way upside-down and hangs…with your hair becoming parallel to your body and change from ding dong’s pockets plummeting into the water below…this ride has been my nemesis since I was a little girl in grade school, it has always made me shake…I only rode it one time when I was young…but three years ago…I felt the need to overcome my fear…we got on the ride and as I began to tense up and the “ship” began to totally swing all the way around…a girl in front of me began to scream…”My life, my life….my life is flashing before my eyes…I see the light…help me God…please help me”…over and over again…

And you know what…I didn’t have any fear that whole ride…I could not be scared because I was to busy laughing my ass off at the chick freaking the fuck out in front of me…you can’t really be a chuckling coward now can you…

You don’t have time to be petrified when you are laughing…or enjoying the view…

When life is about to take you upside-down on a loop, you can clench up and close your eyes…or you can exhale, put your arms up, and let the fear help you fly…feeling the wind caress your cheeks as you come around…

Life is like a rollercoaster...

Sometimes you are to scared to get on the ride…

Sometimes the fear makes it that much better…more exhilarating…

Sometimes when you are frightened shitless...you just got to laugh through that shit...

Sometimes you just got to make sure you are securely fastened and let the arms wave…and scream just to scream…

Rarely do those stupid pictures they take of you in mid “swoosh” come out good…

And when the ride comes to a halt, you realize how fucking awesome the thrill was…and how you just want to ride the ride…over and over again…cause that shit is awesomeness...

Especially that “Vortex” one…




DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK:

PUMPING IRON (cause you know I am going to be eating some cake this week so I might as well workout and dance at the same time…aka…”a twofer.”)

Whether at the gym or on the dance floor the most important part of “pumping iron” is your form…so line up your feet with your shoulders, bend your knees a little, keep your back straight, your ass tucked and suck in your stomach…now take your weights, and bring your arms up horizontally and your elbows at ninety degree angles…slowly…remember you are suppose to have “weights” in your hands…lift your arms so your hands meet above your head…going up should take you about two seconds, then you want to hold the weights at the top for another two seconds, and slowly (this should take you approximately four seconds) let your arms come down to starting position…inhale…and as you exhale repeat…now if you are pumping iron and you got a joint dangling from your lips…hotter…

1 comment:

  1. Yup.
    I just pasted the blurb about the vortex to two girls.

    Both responses almost at the exact same time....

    "What ride is this and how can I go"

    you may have just changed lives.

    ReplyDelete