Lessons I have learned on my path to being a Queen (part one)
Sometimes a princess has to be a leper before she can become a queen.
I am a beautiful woman, inside and out. I dealt with a horrible stressful situation at work which I will not bore you with, and my psoriasis came back
(the only time I had it before was when I was losing my restaurant and going through my divorce.)
I feel like a leper.
And as it finally fades away (it has lasted almost 3 months now, but this is better than the last time I had it for 5 months) I have learned.
People don’t always realize what it is like to have something wrong with you that everyone sees. When my psoriasis is at its peek, I have it on about 90 percent of my body…it tones down my brightness, big time. And no matter how hard I try I am not strong enough to get past it even though I know that I have true inner beauty
***the fact that I let this tone down my brightness is one of the reasons I am still a princess, not yet a queen***
I feel so ugly and horrible and know that I let myself stay in this stressful situation and I should have left, I deserve better. But now I have only to learn from my mistakes.
Sometimes you got to let your soul shine.
(Warren Haynes might be the greatest musician of all time, and as a woman, I feel he knows me even though we have never truly talked, oh I met him, but I totally freaked out in his rock star presence, I totally lost it…
even a princess gets dumbstruck.)
This whole psoriasis thing has taught me about inner beauty. When I first started to get it again, this really wonderful and talented man told me how awesome I was. I thought how the fuck could this be the case, and asked him how he could like someone who had this, this disease that affected my skin.
He said my inner beauty shined through, and he later told me that I was a mental, physical & spiritual example of TOTAL AWESOMENESS.
And even thought I have struggled with having this disease in the pit of my stomach I know that I am the shit, I know I rock this shit out, and I know I will heal. I know that I have learned to have empathy in a way I didn’t think possible for people that have physical disabilities, scars or imperfections. In fact having psoriasis has helped me see more people’s physical imperfections…and I have realized that…..
I haven’t found one person that doesn’t have an imperfection.
See a good princess has to realize that she is not more special, better or worse than anyone else….but that it is simply her destiny, and in realizing everyone’s faults, she can help heal and bring her people together.
Just a Thought
When did venues start being bright. All right, I wont even go into venues that don’t let you smoke pot….chicken fuckers…times 10…totally….
Okay I will stop…CHICKEN FUCKERS.
But here is a tip for all bars, restaurants and venues….remember my rant about how we all have imperfections….ahhhh we all don’t want people to see them….not to mention it makes the person I am talking to look that much better, and hides that beer the chicken fucker who has no “drink in crowd holding skills” spilt down my side.
(Control your drink….ding dong)
anyhoo…darker is better. And if im at a show, the likely hood that im loaded…wellllll.
***tip to people who take psychedelics….
fake artifical, glaring light=not okay…
its hard to see all the great colors when you have a freakin headache…and I usually rock the shades or a hat in the sunlight when trippin, or just whenever, I mean I’m usually baked in a functional part of society part of way…totally.
What was my tangent…oh yeah…turn the lights down low BITCHES…for the sake of everyone’s self esteems, imperfections and psychedelic tendencies…or fuck it how bout just mine.
I am a princess damm it.
Not an orginal
IT IS EASIER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN PERMISSION
Let that one steep for a second….
If your parents have a sweet ass house that’s not in the Tenderloin and has a killer view of the ocean and they go out of town during key show weekends…well…who’s fault is that..
And if fun insues welllllllllll.
I love and am thankful for my parents, and I do try to be a good daughter, but you all might be pushing it if you think I can resist the urge to party at a house with a fully stocked bar, a full fridge, three stories, a killer yard. A sweet ass view and is less than 10 blocks away from where I can launch fireworks off after a night of partying and scare the hell out of people having breakfast in a nice ass restaurant.
In the time that I have been back in the city, it takes me two hands to count the number of times my parents have left for a trip on a killer show weekend when my friends are coming to town. Oh the debauchery, oh the fun, oh how my mom is going to give me THE LOOK as she is reading this….oh the joys of unconditional love
You know you love me, come on now…
Im even trying to write a book and I just put you in it…
also…reason number what why I don’t think I should have kids..(for the love of all that is holy what if they turn out like me…that would really fuck with me.)
There are many more lessons I will save for another day.
May I take a moment to remember my friend Chad…..I love you and you will be missed…times forever,
no one entertained me more in their sleep than you…oh the things you said when sleeping…..priceless.
Dance Move of the Week
THE TENDERLOIN SHIT SHUFFLE.
as i walked down the streets of the tenderloin, i realized that there is a dance called the tenderloin shit shuffle....there are two parts, the first part is the crack heads that either shit in the street or dont look where they are going and smear their shit, or random dog shits into streaks making odd "Z" like patterns. (i will save my rant for "why the hell do crack heads who live in the tenderloin have dogs they cant take care of" for a different day)
the second part is people like me, who no matter how loaded we are have go to do odd jumps and hops around the zorro marks of shit. In fact on a fine day in the tenderloin I found myself doing these legging dance moves behind a crack head that spread at least 3 different piles of shit.......CAN WE PLEASE CLEAN UP OUR SHiT PEEPS...come on.....I totally get why people wash down the sidewalks now.
So the dance moves are….
Squat..kinda bounce your ass in the air as you squat, remember toilet paper is few and far between in the TL…shake it one more time…now stand up, oh you stepped in it, look at the bottom of your shoe, now smear, smear…..(almost like you are ice skating), now zorro hop……and back into the squat…repeat till you feel 5 pounds lighter....