Blog 10..HOW YOU LIKE THESE APPLES (love tales)
When I was young I would lie in order to impress people. When I moved to Eugene years ago, I vowed to become honest, and I have learned that I don’t need to lie, who I am as a woman, is pretty impressive. And my honesty now, is one of my best traits…some lessons we have to learn from messing up.
So keeping in that spirit of honesty, and because these are my “diaries” I might as well simply put my heart out there, as if an open book, in the space traveling web…for the simple fact this is who I am…take it or leave it.
I find myself surrounded by love and my heart is torn. I don’t normally let people see this in my heart, but here it goes….
Love A…this is a man I love very true. He is my space traveler, and I know his love for me is real. I feel I have loved him in a past life and our connection is real. Yet I don’t know if he is prepared to love a woman like me, I think it might be more of an effort than he is wiling to give, or is capable of. And I love him, but mine is not the job to teach a man how to be good, nor to wait….yet ours is a love that is true….but does that mean that is enough?
(and just a side note, what happened to going down on a girl, I know I smell good…Im just saying…and where the fuck do you think you are..its California baby…people eat pussy)
Love B….this is a man that I loved and let go away, I knew his issues of the heart with another were not solved ..so I let him flutter away, knowing that he would come back on day. And here he is, saying he now knows how awesome my love is, and how he wants it back. But that does not mean he deserves it, that does not mean he won’t be a chicken fucker again, how do I know whether his love will be true…but when we did love…the laughter we shared breathed glow into my soul. But the chicken fucker factor……
Love C…this is a man, I keep to myself, that I love from a far. I gave him a gift that belonged to my father..for he is a healer just like him. My father heals with his hands, my man with his music. At least he healed me. Yet knowing a man with that much power, my job is not to push, but simply love, whether from afar or right my his side. I feel his spirit needs to touch as many people as possible and far be it from me to hold him back. However if our timing was ever right, I would love him with my whole being.
Love D…this is the man I meet tomorrow, or the next. This is the man that treats me the way I want to be treated, that I have a special connection…there are many out there.
And That leaves me with me.
And I am quite content with that.
Because one of the reasons I consider myself a princess is because of the unconditional love that I have for myself. And no matter which love has the privilage to be with me or if I am just by myself, I know I will not compromise on what I want and what I deserve.
Or as Romance W put it…(this was the singer from the Boom Boom Room: who, as related to previous side note about going down on girls, can beat box and let me tell you…welll, hold on…wheew, I just gave myself a victory lap and changed panties..TOTALLY)…anyhoo, the first time I saw him perform after I told him we would not flutter well together he sang a song about me (I know it was about me cause it started with “her name is Sunny”) he sang about a strong woman, who speaks her mind, who does not care who your are, but how you are, who is positive, who is in love with another guy….he than dedicated the song…
TO ALL THE STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMEN WHO WILL NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING THAT IS LESS THAN EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT.
Of course I could have just told him that is simply how a princess rolls…
And I always tell them…”I know you ryder going to miss me when im gone…”
***Tenderloin Shit Shuffle Update****
If you don’t know already…6:15am in the tenderloin is a crazy time..I found myself today walking home with a morning cup of coffee and was in the beginning stages of a Zorro hop when a crack head freaked and dived down and ate what I thought was a turd. My shocked ass dropped my coffee with a look of horror I will not even attempt to explain…the hunched over troll like form than informed me it was a “Jimmy Dean” sausage link…not as gross as eating shit off of the sidewalk..but a dance move I did not see coming.
DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK
Shaving the legs…(can we incorporate this into the “hop into the shower dance”)
So start by putting your leg up, get some foam on your hand, smear it all over your leg…get a little dirty with it..now grab the razor, start to shave, gotta reach behind, might have to twist, rinse off the shaver…rinse off the leg…REPEAT DANCE BUT WITH OTHER LEG…..after both legs are done, feel how soft your legs are with your hand…as if your shin were a slip and slide….victory.