Blog 28....Paranoia Strikes Deep, Into Your Heart it Will Creep…………
All right stop hey, what’s that sound, everybody look what’s going down…………….
Have you ever walked through the Tenderloin at 2am in the morning? Did you walk in the TenderNob up on Sutter Street, or did you walk through the dirty dirty? You know where I am talking about, Turk or Eddy, around Taylor or Jones……
Were you scared?
The other week I walked with two other friends through the dirty dirty after a show, they were holding hands kinda crunched together and looking scared, I was two feet ahead, corkscrew out, walking through packs of men 20 plus deep, head up, ready to roll. Parting through the crack heads like an arrow through soft wood. I might have gotten some catcalls but I can guarantee those crack heads would have fucked with my scared friends behind me before they would have touched me....because
Fear begets fear.
To have fear is one of the most natural instincts that we have, and it is the thing that holds us back the most.
And Fear is consuming.
*Fear is our thoughts taking over our ability to live.*
Now granted, I could get fucked with any given day in the Tenderloin, but the fact that I walk brazenly about with out fear, gives my mind more room for my instincts. Instead of my first thought being, “Ohhh no……this person is fucking with me…..”
My first thought is……”Hell Fucking no bitches, are you even going to attempt to fuck with me.”
When we are consumed by fear it inhibits us to experience all that we can. We limit ourselves.
We not only limit ourselves from the intense highs that life has to offer and the ability to truly live, but we limit ourselves from the pungent lows, the life altering lessons, the needed humbleness of life……………the chance of continued growth.
I myself am petrified of making a mistake again when it comes to my heart. And yet in recent weeks I have come to realize that while I think I am a tuff bitch, I am a pussy when it comes to falling in love and being in a relationship and I need to nut the fuck up and be okay with getting hurt, with making the wrong decision. Cause how the fuck am I going to know I made the right/wrong decision until I have experienced it. What the fuck is sitting at home worrying about it going to do……….
And fear is such a waste of fucking time.
How much time do we spend, just sitting there, scared to death on how shit is going to work out? I spend way to much freakin time on it...I could probably cut my shower time by 5 minutes if I stopped fucking fretting over shit in there...but its so quiet, and the water on my back zones me out...but really peeps, I got shit I got to do, I don’t have time to be fucking scared.
Now I am all one for having learned and being realistic, those things I get, but the being scared shit, the being paranoid thing, I don’t get.
From what I have experienced the people who are paranoid and fearful are the people who have way too much fucking time on their hands. GO DO SOMETHING…………
I guess that is what this princess is trying to say……..
Yes bad stuff will happen, but it will happen whether you worry about it or not. And when you clear your mind of fear you open your self up to your instinct and your gut, and doing what YOU would do...you become free...and
Let life………go and take you away.
DANCE MOVE OF THE WEEK
Making the Bed
Since I just got a new bed...whoop, whoop...I thought I would make up an accompanying dance.
So first I strip the blankets off in one big “Zorro” gusto….than I daintily fluff my pillows...I start with the sheet, giving it the toss and letting it float down… (I usually have to do this twice cause my sheet sucks at the “floating down” part...stupid corners...okay now the blankets, get them all in the right direction, and start to tuck... Once you are done tucking, kinda pull each side, smooth it out, stand back……………we made a good fucking bed, now the best part……….
Messing it up.