Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Blog 12...what defines a CHICKEN FUCKER..wait a minute

Blog 12…..What defines a “CHICKEN FUCKER”

****warning**** if you are offended by the term CHICKEN FUCKER, stop reading.

Well if any of you have read my previous blogs…you know I use the word CHICKEN FUCKER quite often. In fact my first blog got shut down because of my use of the word. Yesterday I wrote down or took a mental note every time I used the word CHICKEN FUCKER….so lets go over what it is so you all can use it right.

The origin of CHICKEN FUCKER..
No it is not from South Park…I still need to watch that episode, but the term actually came from a Widespread Panic lot in 2005 at the Gorge in Washington. I was there with my ex-husband (chicken fucker) and we were cruising the lot selling brownies and such, all of a sudden we walked up upon a fight about to break out. These two guys were yelling at each other about some stupid shit and the one guy had his fist raised like he was about to clock the other guy. Well the other guy walked right up to homie’s face and said….”Oh yeah, well you are a CHICKEN FUCKER”

Still with his fist pulled back the guy looked at the other and said with a weird smile…”Did you just call me a CHICKEN FUCKER”…..and like that he lowered his fist and the other guy started to laugh and than they started to talk and joke around…I turned to my ex-husband and said…
“I have got to use that”….hence….

When is CHICKEN FUCKER a compliment or a good thing…..
Examples of good CHICKEN FUCKERS are as follows….

-my friend who I love deeply went to New Orleans and decided she liked it so much she would stay for half a year…CHICKEN FUCKER…I am so jealous, I wanna go to New Orleans, I have never been…grumble, grumble….and now I see all these awesome pictures of her at Mardi Gras……just rub it in my face why don’t you.

-I have a couple friends that have awesome jobs in the music industry and get to travel all around and just see great music all the CHICKEN FUCKERS…

-From Irish dancing for so long my legs are pretty thick..all you ladies with nice slim legs..CHICKEN FUCKERS…I wish I looked as good as you all do in short dresses.

I guess when you are happy for someone or even impressed you can call them a CHICKEN FUCKER and it is meant as a compliment.


Sometimes I just call random peeps CHICKEN FUCKERS and go “bawk, bawk bawk” and do my little chicken dance…just to fuck with people…why not. They look at me like I’m nuts (like I don’t already know this ding dongs) but sometimes you need to be called a CHICKEN FUCKER….just because.

When is the term CHICKEN FUCKER meant in a bad way.

-someone steals my cab…CHICKEN FUCKER

-some ding dong cuts me off in line at the bar cause they can not wait for their drink even though I have waited patiently…CHICKEN FUCKER

-I see some guy yelling at his lady in public (or the other way around) CHICKEN FUCKER…(come on peeps keep your arguments behind closed doors, don’t pass your drama on to everyone else)…CHICKEN FUCKERS times 10.

-I hand you a nice freshy bowl to get a green hit and you “helicopter” it and burn the whole thing instead of just hitting the corner so we can all get greeners…CHICKEN FUCKER

and so on and so on.
Are you all starting to catch on.

And sometimes we are a CHICKEN FUCKER because we have to be.

-my ex-husband loved me, and when we were together, we really tried, but when we broke up (because we could not love each other the way we needed to be loved) we both acted like CHICKEN FUCKERS cause we were both hurt. But it is what helped us get past the pain, it helped us become who we are today.

-I had to leave Eugene in a hurry, I knew I was going down the wrong path, I had to go so fast that I owe my really good friend some money…I am a CHICKEN FUCKER…because I need to pay him back (and I will). If I had money now it would have happened…but I’m a broke bitch with just $20 bucks I have till tommomorrow night. But if I had stayed I would probably end up owing him more and I would be unhappy and in a very dark place. I had to leave, or incidences of me being a “chicken fucker” would multiply. Sometimes you got to just call it a loss and deal.

The fact of the matter is sometimes you got to do what you got to do.
And sometime you have to be okay with being a CHICKEN FUCKER because you are doing what is best for you, and you have to be okay with someone else being a CHICKEN FUCKER cause they are doing what is best for them.

***side note***
when I get loaded I call everyone a CHICKEN FUCKER…doesn’t even matter if you played drums for the Grateful Dead…I am all about equality in calling people CHICKEN FUCKERS.


I hope you all have a better understanding of the term..
your homework assignment for this blog is to go call at least 3 people CHICKEN FUCKERS..
(remember yourself counts)

One thing I like about the term is that is makes me even if it is meant in a bad sort of can still laugh it off…which is key.


What else…
start by putting your hands by your hips and doing that I’m getting a lady from behind move and imagine grabbing her ass and pulling it towards you..back and forth….
Okay now do your chicken dance (sometimes you gotta fuck before you chicken.)…I put my hands on my hips and move my neck back and forth while my triangle shaped arms flap back and forth..after a couple steps..i do the chicken shake it on down now..i start the shake in my head and let it wiggle all the way down to my my ass an extra shaking…of course..have you seen my ass, gotta shake it as much as possible…now back to the “air humping”..and repeat.