Thursday, March 31, 2011

Blog 16..Lessons from a King & Queen..part one

Blog 16: Lessons from a King and Queen…(part one)

Now being a princess, it makes sense to say that my parents are a King and Queen. And it makes perfect sense to me, I must confess.

When it comes to parents, I am fucking blessed. They have supported me in all the directions I have taken in life, and failed, and still supported my next adventure. No one has had my back more. Through the hard times I have gone through, I have never felt alone. They have been my rock and my salvation and a blessing that I am eternally grateful for…times a million.
I would not be the positivity princess that I am if it were not for the two greatest gifts that I have in my life.

As I grew older I learned to truly listen to the things that they were telling me…after all, I wish I could be like them….blessed with a happy relationship after 38 years (they still hold hands and my dad still spanks my mom’s ass….he does not smell it afterwards though…don’t know if they are ready for the “spank and sniff”…see blog 3) Is life always perfect for them, no….but they weather the storm so nicely, and they are successful, busy, and I think fulfilled individuals that make a cohesive unit that….sparkle.

Lessons from the Queen (part one)
Now my mom slips those lessons into her sentences… got to kind of make sure you get the whole thing (my dad is more in your face with it.) My mom has been a Catholic School teacher at the same school a half block down from our house for like 40 plus years..
a perfect example of my mom is:
I went to the house for dinner and was pretty much doing back flips and hyperventilating turning myself into an awesome shade of purple when I found out PRINCE was coming to town. I bounded into the house and up the stairs screaming to my mom..she looks at me and goes “Who”
Stopped in mid-flip, looking like I had swallowed air backwards I managed to let out, “you don’t know who PRINCE is?........" she just shrugged.
I ran into the dinning room to sit down and told my dad what had just happened..he said.
“Your mom is on a need to know basis, its okay.”
My mom than asked my Dad if he knew who PRINCE was and he said, “Of Course.” My mom shrugged again and started to serve dinner, unfazed…I was still in shock…..(she, of course just went on her marry way almost in body language to me saying, …whatever, im still cool, I know it.)

My mom knows enough about enough shit that I don’t think it bothers her that she doesn’t know everything…she knows she is still one smart ass lady.

The two first lessons:
Lesson One: Now she taught me a bunch before, but I didn’t really start listening to my mom till I was about 24 years old. Before that time I had been quite heavy, a plus to this was that my boobs where huge, being a young hippy, I did not wear a bra from the ages of about 18 to 23. With double D boobs at the time, well….look out world….
for years my mom said, “Wear a bra, you will thank me later, if you don’t your boobs will sag.” I of course thought nothing of it.
Around the time I was 23 years old, I started to lose weight… A year later I was 80lbs lighter, and my boobs had not only gone down to a C cup, but now, if I was ever “on top” I would lean over and my tits would look like tear drops ready to fall. I have gained a little weight back, so its not that bad, but ohhhhh the tear drop factor is still there.
My mom just looks at me and shakes her head and says,
“I told you to wear a bra”….the lady is over 60 and has perky boobs than me….chicken fucker.

Lesson Two: This is a lesson that would have saved me a lot of grief….totally. At the time I left my husband, one of my really good friends found out her live in boyfriend had cheated on her after 7 years. My mom looked at me when I told her and said, “never move in with someone until you are engaged, once you move in, it is to hard to get out, know that the person is ‘the one’ before taking that step.”
I moved in with my ex-husband 3 months after we started to go out. There where many times in our relationship that I knew it was not right, but I never left…if we weren’t living together, would it have been so hard. We would have not shared the pets, the responsibility, we made ourselves co-dependent on each other way to early in the relationship, and than we became stuck…once you are stuck sometimes it is easier to sink that to climb, and you fall. If I lived on my own, I think I might have not married him, I think our relationship would have never gotten to that point. Moving in with someone limits you to what you are aware off, and binds you in a relationship in ways that we do not realize…besides, moving is a bitch…in or out, avoid it at all costs…totally.

Lessons from a King..(part one)
My father is a truly amazing man. He is a healer, and has healed many with his own hands. His energy and his being is flooring. The way he looks at life has some of the zen most qualities a person could have, and he lives for his work. I get my work ethic and my humor from my dad…..perfect examples of him lie in his lessons.

Lesson One: It will all work out, it always does.
For years I have heard this from my dad, and it has become my motto in life and has helped me through my tuff trips.
Cause lets me honest does work out, always, the way it is suppose to. It might not be the way that you want it to, but it might lead to something in the future that you never thought possible. I have been able to realize this from the second lesson my father taught me.

Lesson Two: Surrender.
I remember the first time I had psoriasis, I was homeless at the time and my friends were letting me crash at their house, I was sitting on their porch, crying my eyes out, talking to my dad on the phone, watching the sunset.
He told me that I had to come to terms with my disease, that I just had to deal, that is how life is.
He said, “learn how to surrender… let it all go. Learn how to just be okay with things, to be happy no matter what, because life is life.. We all go through it, you don’t get a special pass…yours is hard to, now just surrender and deal with it….enjoy the lessons, it makes them easier to learn.”

It is a hard lesson, and one I work on daily. But I can honestly say that I make a constant effort to simply surrender, to let life be, what my life decides to be, and to truly try to be positive and okay with it all, because if I don’t surrender to it I am just going to be bitter, and that is not a good state of mind for me.

So surrender and it will all work out the way it is suppose to.

Lesson Three: Remember to Breathe.
Man this is one lesson that has totally helped, whether from epic spaceship rides to times as a waitress when I am slammed to fights with friends that I am having. To take a moment and take a deep breath and focus on that, really centers the fuck out of you. It collects me in times of craziness. It helps me remember to surrender and if anything it is a second break from all the dealings that I am dealing with.


Have I learned more lessons from my parents, of course, but this is a blog not a book so we will save the others for later.

****Side note****
to the lady that got mad at my tits (blog 13) I have been doing some research.
I walked to and from work one day in one of my dresses, that make my tits look awesome, and the next day I walked to work in my workout pants, that make my ass look awesomeness and my ugg boots and a wife beater.
Well let me tell you..I should just keep on the dress movement, cause my ass might cause some traffic accidents. I mean I butt walk every day up hills, you could bounce a quarter off my ass and have it hit Jack London square in Oakland and it would clear the bridge to. I get way more cat calls in my workout gear than one of my dresses. Reason number 384 that the chick in the independent bathroom should have kept her mouth shut, I was doing the lesser of two evils, trust me.

Fishing the friend back.
Have you ever been at a show with your friends and you get the crowd drifter that walks right into your group of peeps and separates you messing up your joint rotation…totally not cool.
Well a fix it solution for this is to “go fishing”
Get your line nice and tight, now cast it, throwing it over your shoulder…letting it sail in the air for a second, oh it landed in the water,…pull the line in for a second, oh, oh…you got a bite, give it a little tug. Now at this moment your downstream friend should make a little fish fin and start bouncing in your direction….pull the line in more, ohhh, the fish got a little bounce off the rock (the crowd drifter) and you got the fish…another down stream friend might have to run in with a net……way to fish people…good job.

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