Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Blog 13...Don't yell at my tits.....

Blog 13….Don’t yell at my tits….

Ladies and Gentleman, don’t get mad at my tits…I promise they won’t get mad at you. I mean they have been known to slap a dude in the face…but I think they kinda enjoyed it….anyhoo

Let’s recall the situation.

I was at the beginning of a 5 show run…..(2 nights of Medeski, Martin & Wood, 2 nights of North Mississippi Allstars and a Umphree’s McGee tease on the last night.)…I am still tired, especially after those ding dongs who run the time took a freakin hour from me…CHICKEN FUCKERS… don’t fuck with my sleep.

Back to the Situation.

I was in the Ladies Room the first night and as a sauntered out of the stall I was looking fierce. I know I was cause I felt it. Sporting one of my “top 5” dresses, and feeling like the workouts I’d been grueling myself through were finally paying off, I went to wash my hands. Another lady was washing her hands, she looked at me and said….

“Well you must get a lot of guys talking to you…I can’t believe you dress like that for guys….maybe if you covered your chest people would talk to you for you, and all that glitter…don’t you think you are trying to hard…..do you really get that many guys coming up to you? Is it worth it?”

With a look of ‘what the fuck just crapped out of your mouth’ on my face, I told the chicken fucker,
“I thought people talked to me for the simply fact that I am so awesome…guys hit on me whether Im dressed like this or working out, I thought they hit on me for me.”

Her noise arched and brought her eyes together and she looked me up and down and said “okay,” smirked and waited for me to say something else.

Not wanting to go off on a bitch, and have the incident ruin my show, or get kicked out for punting a chick across The Independent, I decided to add a little more glitter (I asked her if she wanted some….hmmmm, ‘no’ was her answer, I wonder why.) Put some glitter on my chest (you got to sparkle,) make sure my boobs were nice and at attention, gave my ass a little shake in the mirror, and boogied on out of the bathroom back to my show.

I didn’t want to pay the girl anymore thought at my show….that time was for my music and my church. However, let me address the situation so I can get it out of my mind.

I do not dress for any man, I do not dress for anything, anyone…...BUT ME.

If I look good and I feel good, well than AWESOMENESS, if I don’t…I don’t go out. I am a firm believer in being the best me that me can be…times 10. Don’t get mad a me, cause I do it damm good, get encouraged to do you the best that you can do.

I wear dresses, because I like dresses, they are comfortable to me…I don’t like my legs a whole bunch and I feel that dresses bring out the best in my body according to my eyes. I am curvy, dresses usually accentuate my small waist, slide down my hips and make my breast look awesomeness times 10.

Why would I not want to look awesomeness times 10…
Why would I want to look anything less….

I am not shy about my body..I love it. Do I wish I was skinnier, could wear short skirts or a bikini…totally, but Im not…so fuck it…I m going to do what makes me feel good.
I was under the impression, while Im sure guys, and ladies like my tits, they talk to me because they see that look in my eye..and they keep on talking to me to try to figure me out, and once they do they get it…I AM FREAKING AWESOMENESS.

I mean Im a total ding dong, but Im not embarrassed by it, I embrace it…I snort when I laugh, I say shit that makes people go “what?” I make a fool out of myself on a constant basis, but I am a truly kind hearted person…
And I ain’t never going to judge you by how you dress, how you laugh, or how you can be a ding dong…I am going to only encourage you to be you…times 10.

I am going to encourage you to look, be and feel the most awesomeness that you can, as I expect you to do the same for me.

When I get dressed, I want to look and feel good. I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks, my opinion of myself is truly the only one that matters (Im the one who sleeps with me, who lives with me) I have nice boobs, I embrace that shit, I embrace everything that there is about me, cause I don’t even want to think about the alternative. I love glitter (I glittered like 60-75 peeps at the Boom Boom Room on Saturday night, tee hee hee, the whole room sparkled….I have an addiction to glitter which we will discuss later)

When I think I look good I exude self confidence and self love.
Which is the greatest gift I can give anyone.

And I feel that is what people are most attracted to. Not my chest. (and if you think I am dumb enough to not realize when someone is just talking to me because of how I look, you are more of a ding dong than I am.)

I did not always have this love for myself.

I used to be 230 pounds, I lost 80 pounds, I got sick, gained some back (boobs got bigger, whoop whoop) lost everything from my money, to my confidence, to my friends, to my house, to my restaurant, and the place I called home for 10 years.

Yet...
To be humbled is a wonderful lesson in life.
It has taught me to always be the best me I can be, no matter what the situation.
And that no matter what, I will always have me.

And due to that fact…
I WILL ALWAYS ROCK ME OUT…..times 10.

So you want to give me shit for being awesome…go ahead, it falls on deaf ears.

Ears that are to busy hearing myself tell me that I am the shit….

Something that if everyone looked in the mirror and told themselves…….they would not have the time to worry about everyone else.

And if we all just did us the best we could, we couldn’t really hate on anyone, because we are fucking trying…and that is all we can ask of anyone.

I encourage people to do and be the best and most awesomeness they can, and that way we all encourage each other. Instead of holding people back because of our preconceived notions or judgements, we should encourage everyone to sparkle....

So don’t get mad at me that I have tits…motorboat that shit up,
Or show off your legs, or your smile, or the curve of your back…show off what you love about you, and embrace what we love about each other….CHICKEN FUCKER.


On a side note…
Someone told me how impressed they were that I walk through the Tenderloin at 3am not scared of nothing, without a care in the world.

I said “why would I be scared”

I took it as a huge compliment…..times 11.

Also…If you motorboat breasts that have been smeared in glitter…be prepared for a glittersash.


Dance of the week:
based on a true dance move story....
GLITTER THAT SHIT UP.....
(please have some glitter in your hand)..Now this move I practiced as above mentioned at the Boom Boom Room, it can also be used anywhere, just be prepared for 70% of the people being happy, and about 30% of the people being upset...but hey, you are batting way above average.
So you walk up to random peeps and smear, blow, or attack them with glitter, getting as many people as possible.. I like to say "Don't be afraid to sparkle" or "Spread the Sparkle" or "Nutt up and deal with some glitz" whatever works for you....spread the glitter, sit back, put some shades on...and enjoy.

5 comments:

  1. You are AWESOMENESS times 11!

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  2. May I get an AMEN. You go Sunny !

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  3. you rock!!! fick the chucken flockers!

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  4. i woke up with glitter on my face that sunday after the Boom Boom Room latenight... mystery solved.

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